


You're Not Alone

by LucilovesSamwholovesGabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Asexual Castiel, Asexual Character, Bisexual Dean, Demisexual Sam, Demisexuality, Depression, Elemental Magic, Fluff, Guilt, Happy Ending, John is a dick, M/M, Minor Character Death, Name-Calling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-23 08:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3761728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucilovesSamwholovesGabriel/pseuds/LucilovesSamwholovesGabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester killed his mom. John blames him for it, but Dean understands, because he blames himself too. Sam doesn't blame anyone but John, then again that's nothing new. John ships them off to some fancy school in Washington. It here were Dean meets Castiel, a boy who understands him better than anyone else could. He killed his brother, he understands the pain, and Dean will never let him go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shipped Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their ‘extreme abilities’ happened to be what killed their mother. Sam and John had gotten into another fight, and like always, Dean tried to break it up. When John hit Sam, he snapped, and an earthquake erupted suddenly. Their stove in the kitchen, which had been on, exploded, fire erupting all around the kitchen. Dean had tried to control the flames, but he was scared, he couldn’t control it. He made the fire spread far worse than it should have. Their mother had an affinity with plants, and she couldn’t have helped herself even if she had wanted to. When Dean went to sleep at night, he could hear her screams, and he knew with every fiber of his being that her death was his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there everyone! So I am apart of the SPN Asexual Mini Bang and today is posting day! *sequels* Anyways, this fic actually isn't so mini, it's 24,142 words. I was committed. I had four beta's, they were amazing and took the time to read my fic over, they are, Why-Not-Sabriel (http://why-not-sabriel.tumblr.com/), Halaseige (http://halasigecoffiiee.tumblr.com/), Semoka (http://semoka.tumblr.com/), and my personal friend Emily. My lovely artist, Girl-Of-Braids (http://girl-of-braids.tumblr.com/) did all of the art work, she's an amazing wonderful person and I'm so glad she was my artist. As you can pry see this fic is five chapters long, so for the next four day's you'll get an update everyday. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think in the comments below.

Dean glared at the woman from his place in the corner of the room as she smiled pleasantly at his father, her eyes dark brown and calculating despite her smile that read so pleasantly.

 

“What your boys need, is to be sent to Saint Michael’s Academy, it’s a private school. They know exactly how to deal with your boys and their extreme... abilities.”

 

Their ‘extreme abilities’ happened to be what killed their mother. Sam and John had gotten into another fight, and like always, Dean tried to break it up. When John hit Sam, he snapped, and an earthquake erupted suddenly. Their stove in the kitchen, which had been on, exploded, fire erupting all around the kitchen. Dean had tried to control the flames, but he was scared, he couldn’t control it. He made the fire spread far worse than it should have. Their mother had an affinity with plants, and she couldn’t have helped herself even if she had wanted to. When Dean went to sleep at night, he could hear her screams, and he knew with every fiber of his being that her death was his fault.

 

They wouldn’t send him to jail, he couldn't control his abilities, and there was no way that what had happened was his fault. John blamed Dean for the death of his wife, and he blamed himself for hitting Sam and causing the quake. Sam blamed John, he always blamed John, but Dean agreed with John, they should have just locked him up. They shouldhave give him the murder charge, but they didn’t.

 

John didn’t have abilities like they did. Henry, John’s father, had them, but his abilities had skipped over his son. Sam and Dean’s grandfather had been able to control the winds, so well that he could create tornados. Honestly, Dean thought John sometimes resented them for having abilities, but he never held that against Mary. Oh no, her entire family was filled with powerful people with powerful abilities, but Mary had been different. She hadn’t been very powerful, only had a small affinity with plants. She was very mediocre next to her family, when you compared their abilities.

 

John loved her all the more for that fact; she was different, you hardly noticed she had an ability at all, and he adored her for it. Sam and Dean, though… they got both their family’s extreme abilities. With hardly any control over either of their skills, no one was really surprised to hear what had happened.

 

John ran his hands over his face. “Where exactly is that?”

 

The woman smiled mischievously then, and handed a brochure over. “It’s in woods up in Washington, near the Canadian border. It’s completely secluded, and the school is phenomenal. They work particularly with kids with strong abilities. They are a completely open minded school.Kids of any sexual orientation are completely welcome there.”

 

John stiffened. “What, do you think my boys are faggots?”

 

Dean’s scowl deepened. John had always been a homophobic asshole, and it would seem it was only getting worse now that Mary wasn’t there to put the reins on him.

 

The woman smiled back at him coolly her eyes narrowing slightly, ignoring John’s stiff posture. “No, I don’t believe either of your boys to be ‘faggots’, as you would say. The only reason why I mention it, is because it is an all-boy’s school, and there have been cases of homosexuality there. In case they were, I just wanted to reassure you that at Saint Michael’s, we are completely open about those sort of things.”

 

John snorted. “You won’t have to worry about any of that from my boys. Dean’s loved girls since he came out of his mother’s womb, and Sam has so many friends that are girls you just _know_ he’s going to be a hit with the ladies.”

 

Dean turned his glare to his father. John knew Sam was Demisexual - that was what the fight had been over in the first place, Sam’s sexuality. Sam was a freshman in highschool now, and Dean had just entered his junior year. Dean found men attractive, but he sure as hell was never going to engage in a relationship with a guy while under his father’s roof.

 

It was a constant fight between John and Sam. Sam telling John that he was a ‘narrow minded prick who couldn’t even accept his own son,’ was not really the best way to get your father to see things your way. John just couldn’t understand that Sam didn’t find anyone sexually attractive until he got to know them on an emotional and romantic level. On some days, it was even hard for Dean to grasp. He just didn’t really understand how you couldn’t find someone sexually attractive.

 

Dean could picture Sam huffing and giving him a classic bitch face as he had to explain it to him once again.

 

 _“It’s not that I can’t tell that someone is beautiful or attractive, because I can, but I just don't get aroused from it. That also doesn't mean that I can't get aroused, because I can become aroused, but it doesn't affect me as it does you. I need to know someone's ins and out, know everything about them_ _-_ _get romantically involved with them before I find them truly_ attractive _."_

 

_"So, sex doesn't repulse you?"_

 

 _Sam shook his head. "No_ _,_ _it doesn't repulse me, I just don't need to have it. Unlike you, I care more about who they are as a person, rather than if I can bone them or not."_

 

The woman smiled again. "Well, I'm sure he will find a very nice girl someday. So, John, do you think this is the place for your boys in light of their… accident?"

 

For the first time since the fire, John looked at Dean and studied his face. Dean knew he was taking in the glare, the dark circles under his eyes, and the paleness of his skin. Maybe, it was his posture that looked so much like John's, or maybe it was the fact his eyes were the same color as Mary's eyes that made John's decision for him. When John turned back to the woman, he nodded his head, holding out his hand for the paperwork.

 

Dean shot up from his chair, slamming the door open. He jogged up the stairs to his brother's room where he was reading on the bed. Sam looked up as soon as Dean entered, setting aside the book and sitting up. "What happened?"

 

Dean paced the small room. "He's shipping us off to Washington to some private school where they can help us control our ‘ _abilities’_." Dean sneered the word.

 

Sam sighed, flopping back onto the bed. "I know he hates us, but I didn't think he hates us that much to send us away."

 

Dean shook his head. "It's not because of you, Sam, it's because of me. He knows that you wouldn't stay here alone so he's sending you off, too. I'm sorry."

 

Sam scowled up at the ceiling. "You know that's not true, he's doing it because he can't handle to raise us without her. He's doing it because he can't stand to see the woman he loved in us. He's doing it because he can't accept what we are. He's a pathetic asshole, and, personally, I'm glad we are leaving."

 

Dean looked over at his brother in disbelief. "You don't mean that, Sam."

 

"Like hell I don't. Face it, Dean, he's a royal prick."

 

Dean couldn't argue with that, but he didn't understand how Sam could hate their father that much. He was still their father, even if he was a prick.

 

Dean shook his head. "Come on, kiddo, let's find out when we will be leaving."

 

They both climbed down the stairs to see John and the woman shaking hands, as if signing over Sam and Dean to her was some business deal and they were the cartel. She turned to them and smiled, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder.

 

“Well, I’ll be here to pick you up at 6 o'clock tomorrow night. Take as many bags as you want of what you need, and you both will be placed in the same room together, so you won’t have to worry about that. I will see you tomorrow boys.”

 

With that she walked out of their temporary apartment. It was dead silent before John finally broke the silence. “I’ll miss you boys.”

 

Sam forced a laugh. “Yeah right, if you're going to miss us, you wouldn’t be sending us off.”

 

“Sam.” Dean hissed.

 

Sam turned towards Dean, his anger boiling just below the surface. “No, Dean, you know it’s true! He won’t miss us in the slightest. He blames us for our mother’s death and it’s neither of our faults!”

 

Dean flinched. “You’re right, Sammy, it’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

 

Dean didn’t miss the way John stayed silent and nodded his head slightly in Dean’s direction. He could hear his father’s voice in his head telling him that it was good he was admitting to it, that it was good he knew exactly what he had done. Sam, on the other hand, well, that just seemed to piss him off more.

 

“Goddammit, Dean, it’s not your fault!” The ground rumbled and both John and Dean froze, holding out their hands in a calming gesture.

 

“Sammy, you need to calm down.” Sam’s chest was heaving as he suddenly turned and ran up the stairs, leaving John and Dean alone.

 

Slowly, they looked at each other, just waiting for one of them to speak. Finally, John stood up straighter, looking Dean dead in the eyes. “You take care of Sammy, you hear? Make up for what you did.”

 

Dean straightened up, nodding curtly. “Yes, Sir.”

 

John nodded and walked to his room, picking up a bottle of Jack that was sitting on the hallway table. Dean sighed and let his shoulders sag. If only he had been stronger, maybe he could have saved his mother's life.

 

~~~~~~

 

Sam and Dean spent most of the rest of that night and the next day packing up their stuff in the many suitcases the woman had left for them. They managed to pack all of their clothes, special belongings, and whatever else miscellaneous crap into seven bags. Four for Sam, three for Dean. While they waited for the woman to come pick them up, their father stayed in his room getting wickedly drunk. When the knock came, John finally stumbled out of his room. With a loose hug for Sam and a curt nod to Dean, they parted ways.

 

On their way out, Dean stopped next to the Impala, staring at it longingly. He would miss her, but he was surprised to feel a hand rest against his shoulder lightly. He looked up to see the woman smirking down at him.

 

“You know, your father gave this to you... originally, I was just going to have it towed up to Washington, but since you’re almost eighteen, and your father told me how much you hate flying, I figured you could drive it up. I’ll give you the address and my cell phone number in case you get lost. Sam won’t be able to go with you, but you’re more than welcome to drive it up yourself.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow at her. “How do you know that I won’t just take off?”

 

She chuckled. “You wouldn’t leave your brother - that’s why he can’t go with you.”

 

Dean had to admit, she was clever. Dean nodded. “If it’s alright with you, Sammy, I’ll just drive her on up.”

 

Sam smiled half-heartedly at him. “Sure thing, Dean, I’ll see you when you get there.”

 

Sam helped Dean load his three bags into the trunk over the hollowed out bottom. They hugged one another tightly, but didn’t say anything else while the woman circled the location on a map of Washington where the school was. She handed the map over with a paper of instructions and a number up at the top.

 

Dean realized then he had no idea what her name was. “What’s your name? I never caught it.”

 

She smiled again at him, but he had the sense that this wasn’t an act anymore because it was filled with sarcasm. “The name’s Meg, and I’ll see you at the school, Dean. Oh, and by the way, you might need this.” She tossed him the Impala’s keys and then a thick wad of cash.

 

“That should get you up there, if not, I can forward you more through the credit card that’s tucked in with the cash. Bye now, Dean. Come on, Sam.” She turned towards the taxi waiting for them and climb in.

 

Sam hesitated for a moment. “I’ll see you there, right?”

 

Dean snorted and pulled his brother close for one last hug, kissing him lightly on the head. “I would not leave you, Sammy. You know that.”

 

Sam nodded, hugging Dean tightly for one more moment before running off to the taxi to put his bags in the trunk. Dean watched them taking off, keeping eye contact with Sam until they disappeared.

 

~~~~~~

 

Driving his baby up to Seattle was much better than it ever would have been if he ridden in one of those retched, small-spaced planes. You could never trust something that flew, but something ground bound - now that was something you could trust.

 

He stayed in cheap motels, ate cheap greasy diner food, and filled his baby with gas when he needed to. When Dean finally entered Washington, all he expected was rain and he was surprised that he wasn’t met by any for most of the way there. It wasn’t till he reached the turn off onto the road that led to the school that the rain started. Dean wasn’t sure what he expected to see when he finally pulled up to the massive metal gates blocking his path to the school, but this certainly wasn’t it.

 

The massive warped metal letters of S and M at the top of the gates that Dean assumed stood for Saint Michael’ssat high above Dean. The gate was at least twelve feet, if not more. If Dean had to guess, the gate surrounded the entire perimeter of the school. The gate’s metal looked to be twisted into the shape of vines, warped and twining themselves into an unrecognizable pattern. If Dean was honest, he thought it was really cool.

 

There were two giant pillars made of some type of white rock where students were sitting up in the booths, looking down at him through the glass with questioning glances. One of the boys must have decided to come down and meet him because he jumped out of the tall pillar, dropping a foot or two before hovering in the air and flying over the gate, dropping down next to the Impala’s driver side door.He knocked against the window grinning widely around a lollipop.

 

Dean cranked the window down, his eyes meeting a pair of golden ones. The boy had sandy blond hair and a lollipop hanging in his mouth.

 

“Dean Winchester?”

 

Dean nodded. “That would be me.”

 

The boy smiled, waving his hand at the other guy who had been in his pillar.

 

“My name’s Gabriel and I’m going to be your guide for the day. The school is further down. I could fly all the way there and you could follow me, but considering it’s raining, I’d prefer just sitting in the car, telling you where to go.”

 

Dean nodded and motioned his head over to the passenger’s side of the car. Dean reached over, unlocking the door, expecting Gabriel to walk around like a _normal person_ , but instead, he just jumped and flew over the car, landing in front of the door and opening it.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow at him as he rolled up his window.

 

Gabriel shrugged. “The more I use my abilities, the more I can learn to control them.”

 

Dean put the Impala into drive, driving through the now open gates.

 

“You look like you have a good handle on them.”

 

Gabriel shrugged. “Yeah, flying is easy, helps clear my mind, but I have severe depression. When I’m in a ‘bad state’ - well, I don’t have so much control. When I was little, my eldest brother was teasing me and chasing me around, making subtle threats to hurt me - I lost my shit, almost killed him by depleting the oxygen around him.”

 

Dean glanced over at Gabriel, surprised that he was so open about his problems. Gabriel smirked.

 

“You’d find out about it eventually. There’s no secrets in this place, Dean-O.” He turned back to look at the road, and began gesturing. “When we break into the clearing, follow the path to the left, our garage is there.”

 

When the trees broke away, Dean was met with a giant fountain. The road circled it and then went off in two directions. Directly behind the fountain was the massive academy. Gabriel grinned at Dean’s surprised expression. “Welcome to Saint Michael’s Academy, Dean.”

 

Dean followed the dirt road path to the left like Gabriel had instructed, still glancing at the school in disbelief. “Jesus, it’s like a fucking castle.”

 

Gabriel laughed. “In a way, it is, but you’ll get more of a gothic cathedral vibe when you’re inside. It _is_ named after a saint after all.”

 

When they pulled up to the garage, which looked like a massive warehouse except made out of wood, which gave it more of a barn feel than anything. It was a ways behind the massive school.

 

Gabriel hopped out of the Impala, shouting, “Bobby! Open the garage up!”

 

Dean watched as the garage door before him lifted slowly, revealing a gruff older man wiping off his hands on rag, and staring appreciatively at Dean’s baby. Bobby waved Dean forward into an open space in the garage.

 

As Dean climbed out of the car, Bobby walked up to him, holding out his hand.

 

“The name’s Robert Singer, but everyone calls me Bobby. I’ll be the one in charge of looking after that beauty you have there.”

 

Dean smiled, grasping Bobby’s hand firmly. “I have a feeling she’ll be in good hands.”

 

Bobby grunted, breaking the handshake. “She ought to be. I work on cars for a living.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Work on many cars here?”

 

Bobby rolled his eyes. “Everyday. Gotta make sure all the cars run in tip-top shape, plus, I teach an automotive class here.”

 

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. “I didn’t think they would offer classes like that here.”

 

Gabriel snorted behind him. “Sure, Dean-O, this school is all about us controlling our powers, but they are still giving us an education.”

 

Bobby nodded in agreement before grunting out, “You both should probably get going. Your stuff in there, Dean?”

 

Dean nodded and threw his keys at Bobby. “I don’t trust anyone except my dad with her, so don’t prove me wrong in trusting you, Bobby.”

 

Bobby rolled his eyes but nodded. “Whatever you say, princess.”

 

Dean grinned and turned on his heel, following closely behind Gabriel who was a couple inches shorter than he was. Gabriel opened a door for Dean, gesturing like a showgirl so Dean would enter.

 

Dean rolled his eyes but walked in, only to stop as soon as he took in the room around him. It was a massive library. Rows upon rows of books surrounded the entire place, and in the center were several rows of long tables where several students sat with books surrounding them, hard at work.

 

“My brother would love it in here.” Dean said in awe as he looked around, noticing the that almost all of the windows were stained glass and that there were quite a few statues of religious figures, one even being an angel.

 

Gabriel nodded in agreement. “You brother geeked out for a second, thought I was going to have to drag him from the room.”

 

Dean turned to Gabriel in surprise. “You met my brother?”

 

Gabriel pulled the lollipop out of his mouth with an obnoxious pop, causing a few students to look up, glaring at him. Gabriel waved back at them and they went back to studying, many of them placing their ear buds in.

 

“Gave him the tour myself, he’s been hanging out with me and my friend Cas the past couple days. He seems to be fitting in quite well. Come on, it’s lunch time, and I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

 

Dean followed behind Gabriel again and it wasn’t till they entered the hallway filled with people that he suddenly felt self-conscious, realizing that everyone but him was in a green button up and black slacks uniform. So, naturally, everyone stared. Dean kept his gaze trailed on Gabriel’s back, trying to ignore the curious gazes. When they entered the cafeteria, Dean again had to look around in awe.

 

The gothic architecture was truly breathtaking with its pointed ceilings and balconies on the higher stories of the building. The school’s symbol, a green and gold banner that had SM in large letters representing the name Saint Michael's, two wings attached to the letters, and a long curved sword was on display under the letters. The large tapestries hung around the room off of the second floor rails. The tables were all wood, as well as the long benches that looked glossy to the touch.

 

On the farthest back wall was a long row of food where anything you could possibly want was offered. Gabriel led him to a corner of the room where the sight of his little brother sitting alone with his nose in a book greeted them.

 

“Hey Sam, look what the cat dragged in.” Gabriel called out.

 

Sam glanced up, breaking into a grin as soon as he saw Dean. “Dean!” He jumped up and threw himself around his brother. Dean chuckled, hugging Sam tightly before letting him go.

 

“Hey there kiddo, been having fun?”

 

Sam nodded enthusiastically. “This place is great, and Gabe and Cas are really cool, too.”

 

Gabriel cleared his throat. “Speaking of which, where is ol’ Castiel?”

 

Sam smirked, pointing up at the second story of the building where Dean had yet to see anyone walk around the second floor. Dean glanced to where Sam was pointing to where the apparent ‘Castiel’ was. Seriously, who named their kid that? Across the room from there, and sitting against one of the pillars on the railing was a boy drawing on a sketch book, paying no attention to what was going on around him.

 

Gabriel shook his head. “Ah, I see. What is it today? Demons? Monsters?”

 

“None of those, today it’s angels.” Sam affirmed.

 

Gabriel’s brow furrowed as he glanced back up at Castiel. “Interesting.” Gabriel shrugged, looking at Dean. “I’ll get something for you today, but tomorrow you can get your own damn food. You two reacquaint, or whatever.”

 

Dean nodded, still watching the boy on the second story, and as if sensing Dean’s gaze, the boy looked up in their direction. Dean stood still as the two stared at each other for a moment before the other boy nodded, snapping his sketch book closed, and slipped off the railing, disappearing as he rounded a corner.

 

“Earth to Dean Winchester, you done having a staring match with someone you haven’t even met yet?”

 

Dean shook his head returning his attention to his little brother. “Sorry about that.”

 

Sam shrugged, sitting back down and motioning for Dean to do the same. “Not a big deal, I was completely fascinated with Cas the first few days I was here. He’s really interesting.”

 

Dean grinned. “Aww, does Sammy have a little crush?”

 

Sam snorted shaking his head. “I said he was interesting, not that I had a crush on him. He’s a wicked artist, and nobody knows how to get up to the second story of this building, even most of the staff, but you can always find him up there. Also, he’s asexual.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Is that like being demi?”

 

Sam shook his head. “Not exactly. Being ace means you don’t ever find people sexually attractive. He’s had sex before and everything, but he did it more just to see what it was like more than anything. For some asexual’s, the idea of sex completely repulses them, for others, it doesn’t. It just depends on the person. It’s nice to know someone who kind of understands where I’m coming from.”

 

Dean suddenly felt completely horrible for not being able to understand his brother better. Sure, he supported him, and didn’t judge him for preferring guys over girls, even though he didn’t find them sexually attractive. Sometimes, though, he felt that wasn’t enough. He wished like hell he could understand how Sam felt, but at the end of the day, the fact still remained that Dean would never be able to really understand him.

 

Dean had been so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed someone slipping onto the bench next to him in till Sam said loudly. “Hey, Castiel! This is my brother, Dean.”

 

The first thought Dean had when he looked up at Castiel was, he had the most beautiful, intense, blue eyes Dean had ever seen. Castiel had lightly applied black eyeliner on which accented his blue eyes even more, and he had extremely dark brown hair that Dean was almost positive was some shade of black. His skin was a pale milky color, and his lips were a dark pink. Dean noticed absentmindedly that they were slightly chapped.

 

Castiel held Dean’s gaze, his straightened bangs hanging in his eyes slightly as he gave a small smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Dean.”

 

Dean swallowed, giving a small smile of his own. “Likewise, Cas.”

 

The sound of Gabriel’s cough brought them out of the little staring match they were having. Gabriel had one eyebrow cocked as he plopped food down in front of Dean.

 

“Sooo... I see you two are getting along swimmingly.”


	2. Fire and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean raised an eyebrow, looking back at Castiel who nodded back, reassuring him. Dean huffed, stripping his shirt off, painfully aware of Pamela’s and Castiel’s eyes on him, probably checking out the tattoo on his chest. Neither said anything about it. “Listen here Dean, Castiel will be holding onto your shoulders the entire time. He will drop his body heat to below freezing, miraculously he can still function at that. If I yell for him to, he will try, essentially, to freeze you, but with how hot you will be burning, the most he will do is cool you down. The great thing about you two is you’re opposites: you can handle each other’s powers by countering them. It’s a perfect balance, really.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! Second chapter is up! *yay!* anyways, no art for this chapter, but there will be for the next. I look forward to hearing from you guy's.

Dean was pleased to see that Sam fit in so well with Gabriel and Castiel. They all joked around with one another and everything felt easy. Castiel was a little on the quieter side, shooting glances at Dean often. Dean had the feeling that Castiel would flat out stare at him if he was allowed, and to be honest, Dean doubted he would mind if that meant Castiel’s gorgeous eyes were on him.

 

Dean was okay that the conversation stayed off of him, but, it would seem that wasn’t exactly in his favor.

 

“So, Dean-O, I told you why I was here, so why are you and Sam here? What disaster did you two create?”

 

Dean’s heart dropped as the thought of his mother crossed his mind - her screams for help as the fire licked at her skin echoed in his mind, the desperation in her eyes as she stared back at Dean burned into his eyes, her reassurances that it was going to be okay and that he just needed to calm down rang in his ears. The problem was he couldn’t calm down, he couldn’t focus. The flames weren’t responding the way they should have - they just spread faster, and he couldn’t stop them. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop them.

 

Sam was watching his brother closely, almost as if he could see everything Dean was seeing behind his closed eyes. As if he could see every horror Dean dreamt about at night.

 

Finally, Sam spoke. “My dad and I were fighting and I sparked an earthquake. There was a fire in our house, and my mother was trapped in the kitchen with the flames. Dean tried to control them but… Well, she died.”

 

Dean opened his eyes and met Sam’s gaze, the silent ‘don’t blame yourself Dean’ hanging heavily between them.

 

Dean glanced at Gabriel who looked like he wished he had kicked himself for even asking. Castiel on the other hand, looked as if he understood. Dean wondered if the question was in his eyes because Castiel nodded slightly as if he was telling Dean it was okay to ask.

 

“I killed my twin brother,” was all Castiel said before he stood up, resting his hand on Dean’s shoulder briefly, his touch radiating with cold as if his hand had been dipped in snow before he removed it, leaving the room quickly.

 

Dean watched him leave with a weird feeling, completely ignoring that his shoulder tingled with the lingering cold. Castiel could understand, Castiel did understand what Dean was feeling. Same coin, just flipped sides. Gabriel sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

“Castiel’s brother Jimmy could manipulate water, Castiel can freeze things. I was with them the day it happened. Castiel’s family and my own have been friends for years. Castiel and Jimmy would often mess around at the lake that was behind their home.

 

“They were amazing to watch, both perfectly in sync with the other. Jimmy would manipulate the water into cool designs in the air, and Castiel would freeze it in that shape. As their teen years started approaching, Castiel was having an extremely hard time controlling his abilities, and Jimmy had no problem keeping his own in check. Castiel would randomly freeze things with a touch or a hand gesture, and it would frustrate him to no end. Jimmy, being Castiel’s brother, would tease him about it because that’s what brothers do. They make fun of the other, but it was always in a teasing manner. Jimmy was never malicious about it.

 

“One day, it had been a particularly bad day for Castiel. Anything and everything he was touching was freezing, he couldn’t wear clothes without them freezing to his body. Jimmy was joking about it, and he was throwing objects at Castiel, watching them freeze as they hit his body. Castiel told him to stop, but Jimmy wouldn’t. He said that it was just to have fun. Then, Jimmy had the grand idea to try and touch Castiel. Castiel told him to stay away, was screaming at him to stop trying to touch him. Jimmy told him to just control himself, and he wouldn’t become a frozen Popsicle. At that point, we were all fourteen years old, and I was starting to get worried. I didn’t know if I should try and stop Jimmy or go get our parents. I didn’t move fast enough, by the time I figured I should stop Jimmy, he had already laid a hand on Castiel.

 

“I can still remember Jimmy’s scream as he was frozen solid. His blood and everything inside of him was frozen solid. Castiel can unfreeze things as well, but that hadn’t even mattered. I’m not sure how he managed it, considering he was freezing everything to shit, but he was able to unfreeze his brother. It didn’t matter. Jimmy was dead the moment he touched Castiel, and Castiel has never forgiven himself for that. They made him wear specially made gloves that help keep him from freezing everything his hands touch, and it wasn’t until a year ago he was trusted to keep them off permanently.”

 

A heavy silence fell over of them, Sam playing with the pages of his book, Gabriel staring down at his food with distaste, and Dean’s hand rested on his shoulder where Castiel had laid his hand on. The loud chiming of what sounded like church bells startled all of them out of their own thoughts as everyone around them started to get up and leave the room to their desired classes. Sam looked hesitant about leaving, but soon stood up, sighing heavily. “I need to get to class. If I see Cas, should I say anything to him or…”

 

Gabriel shook his head. “Naw, you’d probably just piss him off if you brought it up again.”

 

Sam nodded. “I’ll see you tonight, okay, Dean?”

 

Dean nodded, watching his brother leave the room, his backpack in hand.

 

“You blame your mother’s death on yourself, don’t you.”

 

Dean’s eyes narrowed at Gabriel. That hadn’t been a question, it had been a statement.

 

“Why do you say that?”

 

Gabriel returned his stare easily, not flinching in the slightest. “Cas wouldn’t come out and say that on any day if he didn’t feel he was on equal ground.”

 

“It is my fault, I know it, my father knows it, and Sam knows it even if he refuses to believe it.”

 

Gabriel fixed Dean with a look like he wanted to slap Dean for saying that, but then stood up, barely holding back an eye roll. “Come on, I’ll take you to Meg’s office. Then you can sit in on the rest of my classes.”

 

Dean followed behind Gabriel. “So what’s Meg’s role here in the school?”

 

Gabriel smirked, some of the tension leaving his back. “She’s the assistant principal and also kind of our recruiter for the school. She’s pretty damn cool most the time, if she keeps her nose out of people’s business.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow at that. “What do you mean ‘if she keeps her nose out of peoples’ business?’”

 

Gabriel chuckled. “Her and our principal like to get into our business. It’s been known that there are people that they, uh, ‘ship’ together and they try their damndest to get them together. Extra-officially, of course.”

 

Dean stopped in his tracks his brow furrowed. “What the hell is a ‘ship’?”

 

Gabriel turned towards him, shaking his head. “It’s like me saying that I want you and Castiel to get together. I’m ‘shipping’ you guys together. It comes from the word relationship. How do you not know what shipping is?” Gabriel rolled his eyes, suddenly setting out down the hall again. “You don’t have a Tumblr do you?” Gabriel sighed, popping a lollipop into his mouth.

 

Dean frowned. “No, Sammy’s on it all the time, but I’m not a big social media person.”

 

Gabriel threw a glance over his shoulder, grinning at Dean before shaking his head. “I’ll show you how badass Tumblr is later. Come on, Meg will be expecting us.”

 

Gabriel led him through hallways and up two flights of stairs before they reached Meg’s office. Gabriel knocked once on the door before barging in. Meg was reading a file, her feet kicked up on her desk. She was chewing gum, popping it loudly when they entered. She didn’t even bother looking up.

 

“Hello boys. Is Gabriel doing a good job of showing you around, Dean?”

 

Dean shrugged. “He’s shown me a couple of places. This place is huge though.”

 

Meg grinned flicking the file onto her desk, finally giving them her full attention. “No way, by its size you’d never think it was huge by any means.” Meg rolled her eyes, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’ll have Gabriel shadow you tomorrow. He’ll show you to all your classes, and he’ll try not to cause the teachers too much grief.”

 

Gabriel chuckled, snatching candy out of the bowl Meg had on her desk, eating them happily, lollipop still in hand. “I make no promises.”

 

Meg smirked. “I wouldn’t think someone like you would. Now, I want to talk to Gabriel real quick before I make you up a schedule. Be a dear and go out into the hallway, Dean.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

 

Meg narrowed her eyes and a sudden gust of wind pushed Dean forward, slamming the door behind him.“Because I said so, Winchester,” her voice called out.

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Damn airbenders.”

 

Dean leaned against the wall, watching students walk by. Some looked at him while others didn’t, preferring to mind their own business. When Gabriel finally left the room he had Dean’s schedule in hand, a devious grin plastered on his face. Dean had started pacing in boredom.

 

“It’s about damn time. Why did this take so long?”

 

Gabriel shrugged, the grin never leaving his face as he handed over the schedule. “Meg and I are friends, and we had certain things to discuss. Now come on, Dean-O, it’s time for art class.”

 

Dean followed behind Gabriel glancing over his schedule noting he also had art on there. “Hey, what hour is this?”

 

Gabriel glanced back at Dean rolling his eyes. “Use your head Dean, its fifth hour. Fifth hour always comes after lunch.”

 

Dean stuck his tongue out at the back of Gabriel’s head, grumbling about how he didn’t know how their schedule worked. Dean looked back down at his schedule, seeing that he also had an art class this hour. “Hey, we have art together.”

 

Gabriel nodded, still grinning. “Yep. So does Cas.”

 

“Huh,” was all Dean said to that, his thoughts flitting to the blue eyed boy for a moment. Dean noted as they walked that they had to walk out of the main school building to a different building altogether to get to the art class.

 

“This is the art building - any and all art classes happen in here.” Gabriel held the door open for Dean again, waiting for him to pass through. Dean took the place in slowly. It still had the same gothic architecture, except in here the ceiling was painted as a gory war between angels and demons. On the walls were student’s art work. The room was circular, and there were only four doors.

 

Dean whistled. “Damn this place looks awesome.”

 

Gabriel hummed in agreement, taking in the room with him. “Each classroom is extremely large, with five teachers to teach one class so no kid is ‘neglected’. That ceiling never used to be painted. They only painted it four years ago, and guess who helped them paint it?”

 

Dean shrugged looking at Gabriel like he was stupid for even asking. He’d only been here barely one day and he was expected to know who painted the damn ceiling. Gabriel rolled his eyes walking towards one of the classrooms. “Cas and our teacher.”

 

Dean stood there for a moment, his eyes opened wide in shock before looking back up at the war on the ceiling. It was incredibly detailed. Every demon and angel was completely different - each one unique. “Holy shit, he’s good.”

 

Gabriel nodded. “Yes, yes he is. Come on Dean, I actually like art, and would not like to miss any more of this class period.”

 

Dean jogged up to Gabriel, passing through the door with him. Some of the art students bothered to look up from what they were working on to look at the two boys who came in late, but many did not. Only one of the teachers bothered to look up from either working on work themselves, or helping a student. The woman was black and a little hefty. Her eyes were a deep chocolate brown with a wise look in them. She stood up from the drawing she was working on, walking towards them.

 

“Boy, you better have a good reason being late to this class. This is the third time this week, and don’t think I won’t smack you upside the head if you’re late again.”

 

Gabriel raised his hands up in surrender a guilty look coming over his features. “I’m sorry Missouri, I was showing the new kid around, and we had to stop by Meg’s office.”

 

Missouri rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “I swear boy, you and Ms. Masters give me a headache that could last a life time. Who is this young gentlemen?”

 

Dean found himself standing up a little bit straighter under Missouri’s gaze. “The name’s Dean Winchester, Mrs.…”

 

Missouri's eyes flashed with recognition before it disappeared. “Just call me Missouri, dear. Will you be taking a class with me?”

 

Gabriel nodded. “Yep. Meg and I created his schedule together. He’s got this class.”

 

Missouri’s eyes narrowed on Gabriel again. “Boy, you and Ms. Masters didn’t set this boy’s schedule to match up specifically with anyone else’s, did you? Now don’t look at me like that, Gabriel, I know you two very well. You put your noses in peoples’ business where they shouldn’t be, along with Mr. Crowley.”

 

Gabriel was still trying to look as innocent as ever as he said, “I have no idea what you are talking about, ma’am.”

 

Dean now turned his attention on Gabriel raising an eyebrow in suspicion. Missouri shook her head, pointing to over where Castiel was working away quietly. “Go sit down, Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel nodded quickly, winking at Dean, before sauntering over to Castiel to whisper in his ear. Dean turned his attention to Missouri again as she studied him closely. “Let me guess, you control fire.”

 

Dean looked at her in shock - she didn’t even phrase it as a question. “Um, yeah, I control fire.”

 

She nodded to herself, turning swiftly on her feet and heading to a counter with drawing sketchbooks, pencils, erasers, and shading pencils. “No lighting anything on fire in this class, and no starting element fights with any of the other students. Do you understand me?”

 

Dean nodded quickly. “Yes ma’am.”

 

“Good. This will be your stuff for the rest of the year. I want you sketching the rest of the hour and I will figure out what project you can do. You can go over and sit by Gabriel and Castiel if you would like, or you can sit in any of the other open spots. It’s up to you, sugar.”

 

Dean nodded, taking his stuff from her and heading over to the cluster of tables that Gabriel and Castiel were sitting at. Dean noted that the two of them seemed to be having a semi heated conversation. Dean sat down silently, the two of them not paying him any attention except for a quick glance from Castiel. Dean ignored them, tuning out their whispers as he started sketching the Impala.

 

With a defeated sigh from Castiel and a triumphant yes from Gabriel, Dean glanced up. “You two figure out whatever it was that you were arguing over?”

 

Gabriel smirked and nodded. “Cassie here is going to be taking you to all of his classes for the rest of the day. Really, they’re your classes as well.”

 

Dean’s eyes narrowed, remembering what Missouri had said earlier about Gabriel matching up his classes to someone else’s. “Did you-”

 

Gabriel winked, continuing quickly to cut Dean off. “So, after this class you’ll go to Elementals class as a block, and after that you have U.S History. Fun, right?"

 

Dean rolled his eyes, looking down at his schedule. He was pleased to see that he had Automotive’s class right at the beginning of the day for a block. At least he could start out his day happy. He had AP Language after that. He wasn't bad at literature, but he mostly started taking that class at his normal high school to appease Sammy and his mom. Dean cringed. His mom; her absence was like an aching hole in his chest.

 

Dean looked up to find Castiel watching him closely, concern and understanding in his features. Castiel understood what it was like to kill a family member, and it made Dean feel closer to the boy, even though he knew nothing really about him except that he controlled ice and was a fantastic artist.

 

Castiel held out his hand. "Can I see your schedule?"

 

Dean handed it over without thinking. Castiel's eyes moved down the page quickly before looking over at Gabriel and smacking him upside the head. Gabriel shouted out in protest. "What the hell, Cas?"

 

Castiel shoved the paper into Gabriel's face, pushing it onto his face to the point of caving to the shape of Gabriel's features. "It looks exactly the same besides one fucking class, you asshole," Castiel hissed before jumping from his seat and marching out the classroom, the schedule landing onto the table with a thwack, the entire paper frozen.

 

Missouri glared over at Gabriel, but she didn't get up, seemingly choosing to let Castiel blow out steam outside. Dean stared at the paper in shock, looking up at Gabriel's slightly red face after the cold paper being shoved against his face. Gabriel looked back at Dean shrugging. "He'll get over it."

 

Dean sighed, picking up the sheet of paper and laying it down on the table. He started thawing it by holding his hand over it and picking up the heat. "Why exactly do you think he’s mad?"

 

Gabriel sighed. "Cas isn't exactly popular around the school, besides a couple other people, I'm his only friend. Come to think of it, I think Charlie she’s 19 and is our IT girl at this school, and Benny who is a senior are his only other friends besides Sam now. Honestly, though, I think between the two of you, it could be something more than just friends, and Cas has never had that before."

 

Dean looked up from the paper he was slowly thawing out in shock. "We barely know each other, man. How can you make the assumption that Cas and I could be more than just friends - hell - you don't even know if we'll even be friends."

 

Gabriel gave him a hard look. "By the eye fucking at lunch and the way Cas opened up to you faster than anyone else I've ever seen him with on the death of his brother, I can say without a doubt that you two will be friends."

 

Dean's cheeks heated up a bit with the mention of the 'eye fucking'. "We were not eye fucking each other," Dean mumbled.

Gabriel laughed, shaking his head and started going back to work while Dean continued working on the paper. By the time Castiel finally came back into the room, Dean's schedule has gone from a dripping mess to a dried, stiff, slightly crumpled paper. Castiel sat back down looking at Dean with guilt. "I'm sorry about your schedule, I sometimes lose control over my emotions."

 

Dean shrugged. "It's no big deal Cas, luckily for me I could thaw it with just a little heat from my hand."

 

Castiel smiled almost shyly before going back to the art he had been working on. Dean tried not to watch Castiel draw, instead trying to focus on his own drawing of the Impala, but Castiel was truly amazing to watch. The project they were working on in class right now was people. Gabriel was drawing Sam, which kind of threw Dean off, because he had no idea why Gabriel would want to draw Sam, or where he even got a picture of the kid’s last year’s school photo. In truth, Dean didn't really want to know.

 

But Castiel was doing a picture with two people in it, two people who looked exactly alike. One was smiling brightly, a grin a mile wide, his eyes full of excitement, his hair a little bit more tamed then the other boy’s. The other boy, who Dean assumed was Castiel because according to Gabriel, when Cas doesn’t straighten his hair it crazy sex hair, and this boy had the exact same sex hair. Castiel was smiling in the photo, but it was a gentler smile. Little Castiel in the photo was gazing at his brother happily, in a way Dean assumed he looked at Sam. It was a look only a sibling would know how to give.

 

Castiel had already finished himself on the self-portrait, but he kept frowning as he did Jimmy, as if he couldn't really get him right. Dean had a feeling that it was only because Jimmy was gone, and Castiel was trying to recreate him, but it wasn't enough. Because Jimmy wouldn't be coming back, and Castiel would never be able to catch the true essence that was Jimmy in a drawing when he believed he could never do it.

 

Dean continued to watch Castiel struggle over it, his frustration becoming evident on his face, and if the ice crystals beginning to form on Castiel's pencil was any indication, it was maybe time for him to take a break. Dean reached out, covering Castiel's hand and sending waves of heat through to warm his hand up.

 

Castiel looked up, their eyes meeting, and Dean was lost. He didn't know which way was up, or which way was down, all that mattered where those bright blue eyes who looked so lost and hurt, trying to find a way out of the massive amount of guilt he felt.

 

Gabriel coughed loudly and they jerked apart, looking startled at the fact they weren’t alone. Gabriel shook his head muttering. “Yeah, and he thought they might not even be friends.”

 

Dean blushed furiously and glanced down at his drawing of the Impala, ignoring the other two boys. When Dean finally glanced up Castiel was smiling widely, his eyes gleaming with amusement. Dean decided that it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and from now on he always wanted to be the one to put that smile on Castiel’s face.

 

Gabriel stood just as the bell rang, shaking his head. “This is too much gay for me in one day, seriously, the looks on your faces could turn the entire world pro-gay.”

 

Dean blushed again, looking down. He heard Castiel laugh, and it made him glance up again in surprise. “At this rate, Gabriel’s going to break you by the end of the week Dean. You learn to ignore everything he says. Come on, grab your drawing, we’ll find a cubby for you to use.”

 

Dean snatched up his stuff following behind Castiel silently. He didn't blush, it wasn't something he did, and so what was it about being teased about being gay with Castiel that made him blush? Dean scowled - he couldn't like this kid already, he barely knew him! It was just attraction, that's all it was, and besides, Sam said Castiel was asexual. Dean didn't know how that would even work!

 

Dean could almost hear Sam's voice in his head, "There are plenty of people who get into relationships with asexual’s that are sexual, Dean, and they make it work!" Dean sighed, putting his stuff in the cubby Castiel pointed out.

 

Castiel slung his bag over his shoulder, waiting for Dean to put all his stuff away. "So, are you ready for your first day in Elements class?"

 

~~~~~~

 

Dean's not sure what he expected elements class to be like, but he didn't expect a hot woman to be teaching the class. Castiel walked to the side of the room throwing his stuff onto the counter before leading him over to Ms. Pamela Barnes.

 

Pamela turned to them before they could announce themselves. She smiled brightly putting her hands on her hips. "You must be Dean Winchester, starter of infernos."

 

Dean clenched his jaw, nodding curtly. Pamela snorted, slapping Dean on the arm. "Chill, the sooner you come to terms with what you did, the sooner you will be able to control your powers. Now, I've been waiting for a while for someone as powerful as you in the department of heat so I could match someone up with Castiel. If you set something on fire he can put it out, and vice versa. Poor Castiel had to be my partner for so long because I’m the only other fire user in this room that could handle his cold touch.”

 

Pamela winked before turning and walking towards a set of double doors. “So, with every new student I get, I like to have a feel of how powerful they are exactly. I’m a fire user, so I know exactly how it is we tick, it shouldn’t be too hard to get you riled up. Castiel will be there to cool your ass down if you get too hot.”

 

Dean scowled. “No, I’m not doing that. Do you know what happened the last time I lost control?”

 

Pamela swiveled on Dean, raising her eyebrow at him. “I know you killed your mother, and that you are afraid of yourself. Now, if you’re done complaining, let’s go get you real angry.”

 

Pamela stepped through the doors leaving them open expectantly. Dean stayed where he was glaring after his new teacher. A cool hand rested on his shoulder and Dean glanced over to see Castiel looking at him sympathetically. “I know you don’t understand why you have to do this, but it really does help her to know what exactly it is she’s dealing with.”

 

Dean huffed. “I don’t like it.”

 

Castiel smiled softly, chuckling. “No one likes it.”

 

Dean sighed, walking forward slowly, mourning the loss of Castiel’s hand on his shoulder as soon as he walked out of reach. Pamela was waiting expectantly for them, tapping her foot. “Close the door, Castiel, and take your shirt off Dean. You as well, Castiel,” she command, her eyes never leaving Dean’s.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow, looking back at Castiel who nodded back, reassuring him. Dean huffed, stripping his shirt off, painfully aware of Pamela’s and Castiel’s eyes on him, probably checking out the tattoo on his chest. Neither said anything about it. “Listen here Dean, Castiel will be holding onto your shoulders the entire time. He will drop his body heat to below freezing, miraculously he can still function at that. If I yell for him to, he will try, essentially, to freeze you, but with how hot you will be burning, the most he will do is cool you down. The great thing about you two is you’re opposites: you can handle each other’s powers by countering them. It’s a perfect balance, really.”

 

Dean felt Castiel’s hands slide onto his shoulders, and for a moment, Dean felt calm and completely in control. That was, till Pamela started talking. “The fire is your fault Dean. Your mother’s death, is completely your fault. It’s no wonder your father shipped you off, can’t look at the son who killed the love his life. I know I sure as hell wouldn’t have been able to look at you, I wouldn’t have even been able to stand your presence with how disgusted I would be with you.”

 

Dean’s chest clenched tightly, he felt his eyes sting with tears at the accusations. He knew this, he knew it was his fault, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. Dean could feel his temperature rising rapidly as the hurt and the anger towards himself boiled up. There was a hissing noise of the place where Castiel’s hands were touching his skin. “Shut up, this is nothing that I don’t already know,” Dean growled.

 

“Your brother blames you for killing your mother, you know. The only reason why he doesn’t say so is because he doesn’t want to hurt you. But he told me, that he and your father talked about it, how if it wasn’t for you, Mary Winchester would still be alive. It’s all your fault Dean. Everything was your fault. You didn’t stop the fight between your father and Sam, and you let your brother lose control. It’s your fault you didn’t stop the fight, and it’s your fault you escalated the fire, burning your own mother alive!”

 

“Shut the hell up you bitch!” Dean screamed, his entire body becoming engulfed in flames as he tried to take a few steps forward, Castiel’s strong hands holding him back. The fire spread rapidly throughout the concrete room, the flames spreading just as quickly as they did that night. Dean could still smell the smoke, the smell of burning flesh, the smell of propane in the air. Dean felt like retching, his tears drying up from the heat before they could fall.

 

There was a weight on Dean’s chest, crushing him, pulling the air from his lungs. Dean collapsed to his knees, Castiel’s hands clutching onto his shoulders, collapsing to the ground with him. “Castiel, do it now!” Pamela screamed.

 

It was slow at first, before it gained momentum, sending a frost over his entire body, seeping down through his skin and into his bones. The flames around his body were disappearing, being replaced by ice crystals. The flames around the room slowly disappearing without Dean’s will to spur them, and the quick decrease in the temperature of the room. Dean shivered, his body slowly going back down to his not so normal temperature. Dean could feel the tears rolling now, streaming down his face uncontrollably as he curled in around himself, Castiel draping himself around Dean, his cool body a nice balm to the heat he had felt moment’s ago.

 

Pamela walked over to them slowly, her clothes burned almost to dust, as Dean assumed his own were, and probably Castiel’s as well. If Dean wasn’t so broken inside right at that moment, his dick may have jumped to attention at the fact that Castiel was probably straight up naked against him.

 

Pamela squatted down in front of Dean, and now that she was so close, he could see the beginnings of burns on her skin. Dean’s eyes opened wide in shock as he stuttered out, “B-but you’re an f-fire user. You sh-shouldn’t have been burned.”

 

Pamela smiled softly at Dean cupping his face gently. “You are a way more powerful fire user than I am. So powerful, that you can burn my skin even though I’m resistant to it.”

 

Dean froze, his heart seizing. “C-Cas? Are you o-okay?”

 

Dean felt a nod against his back, Castiel’s arms that had moved around Dean’s waist at some point tightened. “I’m fine Dean, not a single burn on my body.”

 

Dean relaxed a tiny fraction, his head feeling as if he had been hit by a freight train. Pamela walked away from them, coming back with a blanket in hand, laying it on top of both of them. “You have the rest of the day off. I’ll bring you more clothes to change into. Stay here as long as you need.”

 

Dean nodded numbly, his entire body numb and broken inside. “It’s okay Dean, I’m here,” Castiel whispered as Dean started shaking again, his body picking up in temperature and tears streaming down his face. “I’m not going to let you go Dean, I’ll stay with you, as long as you need me.”

 

Dean nodded, letting out a broken sob as his body shook, Castiel’s grip on him tightened as he whispered reassurances in Dean’s ear, before it all just came down to three words. “You’re not alone.”


	3. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Then trust me when I say that when I touch you, you won’t hurt me, not even in the slightest.” Castiel lowered his head, but nodded, refusing to watch as Dean reached out the final distance between him and Castiel.  
> Dean dissipated the flames around his hand before he lowered his hand onto Castiel’s knee. Dean hissed, the cold sending white hot pains up Dean’s arm before his body shot up his temperature to accommodate to Castiel’s fierce winter. “Cas, look at me. I’m still here Castiel, you didn’t hurt me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day three, third chapter. I hope you all are enjoying it so far. There are three pieces of art in this chapter.

It was an hour later when Dean stopped shaking. Castiel helped Dean up and they both dressed in silence. Dean noticed as Castiel finished dressing that he had two very detailed wings on his back. They were long, and draped a crossed the entirety of Castiel’s back, the tips wrapping around his sides and ending at the v of Castiel’s hip bones. Castiel caught Dean’s eyes and smiled as he slipped his shirt on, taking Dean’s hand, and telling him that he was going to lead him to his dorm. Dean only nodded, his entire body numb.

 

When Castiel walked Dean into his new room, he was glad Sam wasn’t there. He didn’t want Sam seeing him like this. Dean kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his shirt, slipping under the sheets of his new bed. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing for everything that happened today to just be a dream. A miserable dream. Castiel shifted from foot to foot, watching Dean closely. “Do you want me to stay with you, or…”

 

Dean looked up at Castiel, swallowing harshly. “Please stay,” Dean croaked out, his voice like sand paper. Castiel nodded, kicking off his shoes and crawling into the bed with him, holding the other boy closely.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Dean, you know that, right? The pain never goes away, but you come to terms with it for the most part. In the end, it doesn’t seem so bad.”

 

Dean buried his face into Castiel’s throat, taking in the other boy’s scent. He smelt nice, like musk and crisp winter air. Dean breathed in Castiel’s scent, letting it be a balm to the hole in his chest. “I killed my mother Cas, I’m never going to come to terms with that.” Dean’s voice shook, tears threatening to spill over again.

 

Castiel tightened his hold on Dean. “And I killed my brother, and I’ve mostly come to terms with it. It still hurts to think about, and I know I will never get him back. I will never be able to undo what I have done. I killed my brother, Dean, you killed your mother, and we’re on the same coin, just flipped sides. I’m telling you it gets easier to deal with, but the pain never goes away. I’m sorry Dean, I’m sorry that you have to know what this pain feels like, but we can’t change the past, so it’s better to accept it.”

 

Dean sighed, his head throbbing painfully. “Hey Cas?”

 

“Yes Dean?”

 

“Shut up, please.”

 

Castiel huffed. “As you wish.” Dean smiled into Castiel’s throat, the Princess Bride reference making his stomach flutter.

 

They stayed silent after that, just listening to the other’s breathing, soon they both drifted off to sleep, taking comfort in the others presence. When Sam came trudging into the room, he didn’t expect to see his brother already with someone in his bed. Sam sighed, shaking his head before slamming the door shut.

 

“Hey Dean! How was your day?”

 

Sam watched in amusement as the two boys jumped up in shock at the sound, only for the surprise to be turned on to Sam. Castiel was in Dean’s bed. Dean had been here one day, and he already had the only other asexual kid in his bed. “What the hell, Dean?”

 

Castiel cleared his throat, and Dean put his face in his hands. “Sammy, it’s not what it looks like, Pamela wanted to see how strong I was with my element, and she said some pretty nasty things. Castiel was comforting me - it’s no big deal.”

 

Sam’s face softened immediately, holding Castiel’s gaze that was filled with concern. Castiel had told Sam about Pamela and her ‘methods’. It was then Sam turned his gaze onto Dean and noticed his brother’s puffy eyes, and flushed skin. Sam’s heart sank. She made Dean lose control, and she made him cry.

 

“I’m sorry Dean.” Sam muttered, shuffling from foot to foot.

 

Dean shrugged. “It’s okay Sammy. Do you have homework?”

 

Sam nodded. “I’m probably going to go to Gabe’s room and do it, and if you want I can stay the night with Gabe, and you and Cas could stay here.”

 

Dean shook his head. “That’s not necessary Sammy, I’m not kicking you out of the room because I’m being a girl. Go and do your homework at Gabe’s, but when you’re done, come back. Okay?”

 

Sam nodded, biting his lip to hold back his lecture about Dean not being a girl because he has emotions. Instead, Sam slung his stuff onto his shoulder before slipping out of his room, racing towards Gabriel’s room.

 

~~~~~~

 

Sam flopped onto Gabriel’s bed besides the older teen, groaning. “I can’t believe Pamela did that to Dean, I mean he can barely handle the guilt - let alone someone telling him it’s his fault! And Cas, I mean, how the hell is my brother letting him be in the same vicinity when he’s like that? He doesn’t even let me around him when he’s like that, and I’m his brother!”

 

Gabriel smiled down at Sam, ruffling the kid’s long hair. “Apparently Dean and Cas have a… profound bond, kiddo. They understand each other in a way that you nor I will ever understand. As far as Pamela goes, she has her reason for why she did what she did. But Dean did a number on her - burned her skin even though she’s a fire user.”

 

Sam’s eyes opened wide in shock, turning on his side to face Gabriel. “Dean burned her? How the hell can that be possible? And what do you mean we can’t understand them?”

 

Gabriel chuckled, shaking his head at the kid’s passion. “Dean’s special, you’re special,” Gabriel ruffled Sam’s hair, grinning as the other boy huffed in annoyance. “You two are epically powerful. Dean was more powerful than her: his fire triumphs her natural resistance to it. Now, as for us never being able to truly understand them, until we kill someone in our family that we truly love, we never will. They carry a weight that neither of us can fathom.”

 

Sam sighed, rolling back onto his back. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just always thought there would be no one who could understand my brother like I do, and now it seems like that’s not true.”

 

Gabriel smiled sadly thinking of his own brother, Luke. They hadn’t talked in years. Luke could control his powers and didn’t need to be here - not that he wanted to be. If he was feeling particularly nasty towards Gabriel on their yearly talks, Luke would throw into Gabriel’s face that he had almost killed him.

 

There wasn’t a day that went by that Gabriel wished that he could have controlled himself better, than he could have still been around his brother, and they would still be best friends like Sam and Dean were.

 

Sam was watching Gabriel with concern. “Hey Gabe, you okay?”

 

Gabriel nodded, trying to fight the sudden onslaught of negative thoughts and feelings. “Yeah kiddo, I’m okay.”

 

Sam frowned. “Don’t lie to me, please.”

 

Gabriel gulped. He hadn’t expected Sam to see through him so easily. Castiel could see through his bullshit because they had grown up together, but Sam had only been there for a couple days, carving himself into Gabriel and Castiel’s lives flawlessly.

 

Gabriel sighed, giving in to the puppy dog eyes he was now receiving. “No Sambo, I’m not exactly okay, but that’s nothing new.”

 

Sam frowned. “What do you mean by that? Why haven’t you been okay?”

 

Gabriel started rubbing his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been severely depressed for years, kid; I take my meds like the good boy that I am, but they don’t always help. I’m sure if I went to a shrink and actually talked about my ‘issues’ maybe I would get better, but I manage all by myself, and the pill bottle of course.” Gabriel tried to joke, but realized quickly that Sam wasn’t going to find that funny in the slightest.

 

“You shouldn’t have to take pills to make yourself feel better, Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel looked over Sam’s stern features and shook his head smiling slightly. “No, I shouldn’t, but it is what it is. And before you try and convince me to go see a shrink and get off the pills, I warn you not to bother. Cas has tried, and failed miserably.”

 

Sam smirked, standing up to his full height, looking down at Gabriel confidently. “Cas isn’t me, and Cas isn’t a Winchester - he doesn’t have the pig headed stubbornness of a Winchester. I’m going to get you off those pills, Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel chuckled, the dark thoughts ebbing a little bit by the determination and light of none other than Sam Winchester. “Yeah, well, we shall see.”

 

~~~~~~

 

Dean adjusted to the new school fairly quickly over the next couple months. He preferred his classes starting at 9 rather than 7:30 in the morning, and he found he didn’t mind going till 5 in the afternoon. He liked all his classes and he got along with most of his teachers, even though he and Pamela have been tip toeing around the other.

 

Castiel had carved himself a place in Dean’s heart; it was kind of hard not to get close to the guy when he basically had every single class with him. They got along great half of the time, but fought over little things like an old married couple the other half of the time. Dean couldn’t deny he had feelings for Castiel. Hell, they would spend hours together saying nothing at all, or saying everything on their minds - even the things that hurt to talk about.

 

Dean wasn’t sure how many times Castiel has seen Dean cry, but, then again, Dean lost count of how many times he’s seen Castiel cry. Dean didn’t know how many times when Sam would go to spend the night with Gabriel and Castiel would come to Dean’s room and slip under his sheets, burrowing his head into Dean’s chest while he held Castiel.

 

They were so close and Dean wanted to escalate their relationship to something more, but he didn’t know how. Castiel was asexual, and rationally Dean knew there really was no difference between dating someone who was sexual, and who was not sexual. The only thing being is there was no fun sex time.

 

Dean remembered Sam saying that Castiel has had sex before, and Castiel had told him about it briefly. He said he did it just to see what it was like, but that was more for experiment, not really because he was into it. Dean would never force something on Castiel - would never force him to have sex with him. Dean just didn’t know how it would work. Dean felt like he could give up on the sex thing and live with his hand if it was for Castiel, but he still didn’t know if that was true or not.

 

Dean loved sex. It was just something he truly enjoyed. Could he really give it all up for Castiel? Dean shook his head, stopping his train of thought. He was in high school, he wasn’t getting married to the guy, dating him and testing the waters wasn’t going to kill him. He should just talk to Castiel. Dean’s poured out his soul to the guy, and he should be able to talk to him about this.

 

As if sensing that Dean wanted to talk to him, Castiel appeared, his deep scratchy voice rang out in his ear. “Hello Dean.”

 

Dean jumped from his secluded place on a bench near the woods. “Damn Cas, you scared me.”

 

Dean held his chest for a moment longer, looking into those smug blue eyes ringed in eyeliner. Dean’s cheeks flushed slightly as he again noticed how beautiful Castiel was. Castiel sat down next to him, watching him closely. “You look like you want to ask me something, Dean.”

 

Dean swallowed hard, his throat clenching tightly in fear suddenly. What if Castiel didn’t like him like Dean liked him? What if Castiel rejected him and didn’t want to be his friend anymore because Dean screwed it all up? Castiel’s face scrunched up in concern.

 

“Dean, breathe, your face is going red.”

 

Dean sucked in a breath coughing, shaking his head at his stupidity. “I’m sorry Cas, I’m just nervous.”

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow. “After all the things we’ve shared with one another, you’re nervous about asking me something?”

 

Dean nodded, wiping his sweaty hands on his pants. “I… um, we never really talk about your sexuality or whether you're open to relationships.”

 

Castiel looked at him for a moment in confusion before something wicked shined in his eyes as he sat back in the bench. “Okay Dean, let’s talk about my sexuality. What do you want to know?”

 

Dean swallowed again, his nerves spiking even higher. “Um, does sex repulse you?”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “I’ve told you I’ve had sex before. No, it doesn’t repulse me, otherwise I wouldn’t have had it. I just don’t need it. I can get aroused physically, but mentally the thought just doesn’t ‘get me going’, as you would say.”

 

Dean nodded scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Would you be open to having sex again in your life?”

 

Castiel shrugged. “I don’t see why not if the person I was with wanted to, and that was something they needed.”

 

A spark of hope lit inside of Dean, maybe this could work, maybe this could be a thing. “Um… are you open to having a relationship with anyone right now?”

 

Castiel smirked. “You mean, am I open to having a relationship with you, Dean?”

 

Dean froze, his hope shattering. Castiel was going to reject him, he was going to shove this right into Dean’s face. Castiel reached forward quickly pulling Dean into a kiss. Dean was too stunned at first to kiss Castiel back, but his brain soon got with the program, and he leaned into the kiss, deepening it.

 

Castiel pulled back with a small smile. “You think too much Dean, but yes, I’m open to having a relationship with you.”

 

Dean nodded a goofy grin on his face as he stared at Castiel. He felt like he was on cloud nine. “Awesome, can I kiss you again?”

 

Castiel nodded enthusiastically, smiling against Dean’s mouth as Dean pulled him in for another kiss. Castiel had been waiting for Dean to get the courage to ask him out for the last couple weeks. Castiel didn’t want to ask, in fear that Dean wasn’t ready for a relationship. They hadn’t talked about how a relationship would work with Castiel involved, and Castiel knew from past experience with his past one week stands that people were timid about asking about it.

 

Castiel figured he was blessed in the fact that sex didn’t actually repulse him, not like it did to some asexuals. Sex, if done right, was pleasurable, Castiel knew, but he didn’t want it necessarily. He knew he could live his entire life without having sex, just content to be in his significant other’s presence.

 

Castiel knew that if he ever went in a relationship with Dean that he wouldn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to; he also knew that Dean needed the physical part of a relationship. Castiel liked kissing, liked the intimacy of it, but it didn’t arouse him. It took physical stimulation to his dick to get aroused. That’s why, out of the four times he’s had sex in his life, he topped for three of them. There was a constant stimulant to his dick so he could keep it up. When he bottomed for the first time he lost his hard on quickly. Not that Castiel really minded, but his balls hurt later on from being ‘denied’ release, and Castiel didn’t like that feeling in the slightest.

 

Castiel didn’t know if Dean liked to bottom or not, he just said that he’s tried both sides of the track, never really stating what he preferred. Castiel knew they would have to talk about it at some point, but Castiel figured that conversation would be a few months down the road. He wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while.

 

Castiel pulled back from the kiss, grabbing Dean’s hand and standing up. “Come on, everyone is going to want to hear the news.”

 

Dean grinned, walking with Castiel to the library where their little friend group normally hung out. When they walked in holding hands, Charlie was the first to notice. She squealed, “Finally!” as she ran over to the two of them, wrapping them up in a hug. Some people glared at them for the sudden burst of loud noise, but otherwise went back to their work, ignoring them completely.

 

Sam and Gabriel stood up next, smug looks on their faces. Benny remained seated in his chair, nodding at Dean. “Good job brother,” Benny drawled out.

 

Dean whispered to Castiel. “You’d think we told them that we were getting engaged or something.”

 

Charlie laughed. “Sam, Gabriel, and I already have bets going on for when that will happen. Winchester, you better prove me right.”

 

Dean balked. “What, are you serious?”

 

“Mhmm. Our first bet was on how long it would take you to ask Castiel out. Benny won that bet actually.”

 

Benny grinned. “Speaking of that, pay up.”

 

Dean looked over at Castiel in slight annoyance. “Did you know about this?”

 

Castiel hummed and nodded. “That I did.”

 

Dean grumbled. Was he that obvious about his feelings for Castiel? “Don’t beat yourself up Dean, you two just have natural chemistry, so everyone saw it coming.” Gabriel supplied, shrugging his shoulders as if he just knew it was going to happen.

 

Castiel smiled at Dean, and he felt instantly better about the whole thing. Dean smiled back shyly and Gabriel gaged. “Oh God, instead of stares full of tension, they are going to have passionate stare downs - I can’t handle this.”

 

Sam hit Gabriel, who had flopped back into the chair dramatically. “Stop being so dramatic Gabriel.”

 

Gabriel grinned up at Sam, and it hit Dean then, looking at his brother and Gabriel. He imagined that they looked at each other a lot like how Dean and Castiel looked at one another. Dean side glanced at Castiel, raising his eyebrow as he looked back between his brother and Gabriel then back to Castiel. Castiel shrugged, cocking his head while he looked at the other two boys.

 

Dean bit his lip before whispering to Castiel. “Five bucks they’ll get together within the next month.”

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow before nodding, smiling smugly. “I give it two, you’re on.”

 

Dean grinned happily as he turned his attention back to his brother, watching him interact with Gabriel. “Pst, can we get in on that action?” Charlie whispered, both her and Benny holding up their wallets.

 

Dean chuckled, oh yeah, he could see the fun in this.

 

~~~~~~

 

Dean walked briskly to the garage building, his thin sweatshirt holding little to no heat, not that it mattered all that much. His body made up for the lost heat, but he could still feel the ghost of the chill, making him want to shiver. It was the middle of December, and he still didn’t have a heavy coat. He had made sure to buy Sam one, but he hadn’t even bothered with himself. He slammed through the door that lead into the warm garage.

 

Castiel looked up from his blue 67 Ford Mustang raising an eyebrow. “You still haven’t gotten yourself a heavier jacket?”

 

Dean shook his head, slipping his jacket off as he picked up his keys from the key pegs and threw his hoodie into his car. “Naw, I’ll just deal with the cold.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes, taking a package out of his car and throwing it at Dean. “Happy early Christmas.”

 

Dean caught it easily and stared down at the package in his hand. It was wrapped in bright red wrapping paper with the words naughty or nice written in bright green cursive font. Dean chuckled shaking his head as he ripped the package open his hands finding themselves holding onto the softest brown leather jacket he’d ever held in his life.

 

“Cas, you shouldn’t have, this thing has got to be about 400 dollars if not more.”

 

Castiel shrugged looking over Dean’s face. “Do you like it?”

 

Dean snorted. “Do I like it? Cas, I love it.”

 

Dean threw his arms around Castiel’s shoulders, giving him a deep and hard kiss. “Break it up you idjits. Take that somewhere else,” Bobby grumbled as he walked by.

 

Dean and Castiel pulled back from one another, both blushing a little bit. “We should, we should uh, get back to our cars.”

 

Castiel chuckled but nodded, going back to working on his 67 Mustang. Dean found it funny how their cars were the same year, but the Impala was obviously better. Castiel wasn’t convinced. They worked in silence together, losing themselves in their cars and in their own company.

 

When the bell rang, they looked up in a daze, almost surprised that it was time to move on. Dean smiled at Castiel, wiping off his grease slick hands. “Ready for the hellspawn class?”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “It’s not that bad Dean.”

 

Dean raised his eyebrow, slipping on his new jacket. “Chuck looks like a stoner and seems to come in half drunk everyday if I didn’t know better - and yet he’s such a stickler about grammar, they should proclaim him to be the Grammar Nazi.”

 

Castiel chuckled as they made their way into the main building, climbing up one of the massive staircases to get to the second level. “Don’t let him hear that, he might be extra hard on you on your next essay.”

 

Dean huffed, holding open the door for Castiel before walking in behind him. Chuck was writing the words ‘In Class Essay’ on the board and a few students groaned. Chuck waited for the final bell to ring before he started handing out the prompt. “You all know the drill: it’s Rhetorical Analysis Monday. You have 45 minutes to read the prompt and write the essay. I suggest you get moving.”

 

So they did. Dean read over the prompt quickly, frowning as he thought to himself: why the hell he should care if the writer uses long ass sentences and satire to prove a point? He was never going to use this in his life again. Dean sighed and looked over at Castiel, who unsurprisingly already had a half of a page written.

 

Dean rolled his eyes, wondering how the hell Castiel got this so easily and started writing his introduction paragraph. By the time the bell rang, symbolizing that their time was up, Dean had just finished his second body paragraph and was officially pissed off. Castiel looked over at him sympathetically, knowing better not to say anything about the essay.

 

They gathered their stuff quietly as Dean silently ranted to himself about how incompetent he was. When they walked out of the door they both hesitated - this was the one time of day they actually left each other’s sides.

 

Castiel smiled at Dean, pecking him lightly on the lips. “You’ll get the hang of it Dean, you just need more practice.”

 

Dean huffed, smiling despite himself because Castiel was smiling. “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you at lunch.”

 

Castiel nodded, kissing Dean one more time before leaving the green eyed boy. Dean watched him walk away, his thoughts moving to the Christmas present he had yet to get Castiel. Dean sighed, looking down at the ground in deep thought. Castiel had already gotten him this leather jacket, Dean didn’t remember telling Castiel about liking leather jackets. Maybe Sam had told him, and maybe Dean should suck up his pride and ask Gabriel what he should get Castiel for Christmas.

 

“Meg was right, you two were a match made in heaven.” Dean jumped, his thoughts of Christmas presents long gone as he whipped around at the sound of Crowley’s voice, their principal of the school.

 

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “Meg and yourself are a little too invested in your students’ lives, don’t you think, Crowley?”

 

Crowley waved him off. “Not at all, Squirrel. Now, run off to math 3. You wouldn’t want to keep Mrs. Harvelle waiting, now, would you?”

 

Dean grumbled, pushing himself past Crowley, not liking at all that the principal knew what class period he had 4th hour. Dean barely made it through the door as the last bell rang, Mrs. Harvelle quirking her eyebrow at Dean. “Cutting it close today are you Dean?”

 

Dean shrugged. “Crowley was talking to me in the hallway, he distracted me.”

 

Mrs. Harvelle rolled her eyes. “Yes well, he’s known for doing that. Now, if you all would take out your homework, I’ll now project the answers and you can grade your homework.”

 

Dean liked Mrs. Harvelle. She didn’t take no one’s shit and she was straightforward with you. She was one of Dean’s favorite teachers even though math was his second to least favorite subject. It may have had a little to do with the fact that sometimes she reminded him of his own mom.

 

Mrs. Harvelle nodded in approval as Dean pulled out his homework, which he did every night, thank you very much, and set out on grading it. He was happy to see that he had gotten all the problems right. Maybe math wasn’t so bad, after all.

 

“So class, today we will be working on logarithms.” Dean’s heart sank. He takes that back. Math fucking sucks. By the time the bell rang for lunch, Dean’s head was pounding and he was ready to start banging it against a wall.

 

Once Dean got his food he plopped down in his usual place next to Castiel, and started digging into his burger immediately. Castiel glanced up from his own burger asking with his mouth slightly full, a habit Dean thinks Castiel picked up from him, “How was math 3?”

 

Dean swallowed the food in his mouth before answering. “She’s teaching us fucking logarithms. Why are they even important? Who even knows how to do those fucking things? They’re pointless.”

 

Castiel rolled his eyes. “They are not pointless Dean, and I can help you figure them out. I’ve been doing logarithms for 3 years now.”

 

Dean grumbled. “You shouldn’t have to help me with everything. You help me with AP Lang, you help me with math 3, you help me with art, you help me with U.S History, hell you even help me with controlling my element! I shouldn’t have to be so codependent on you.”

 

Dean could tell Castiel was getting annoyed before he even heard his tone of voice. “First of all, I grew up learning all the things we are learning in AP Language - of course I’m going to be more advanced in the class. Secondly, I’m in a higher math class, so I can help you with math. Thirdly, your art skills are great, Dean, I just give you pointers, I don’t ‘help’ you with that. My pencil has never touched one of your drawings. And as far the elements go, I need your help just as much as you need mine in controlling them. It’s okay to need help Dean, you help me with other things that don’t even involve school work Dean. You help me as much as I help you.”

 

Dean hung his head, Castiel wasn’t wrong, but that didn’t change how Dean felt about all of it. “It just makes me feel stupid Cas, I wish I didn’t have to need you so much.”

 

Castiel growled, his eyes narrowing to slits. “You’re not stupid Dean Winchester, and I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. I’m sorry it’s such a pain to need me though, I’ll try not to be a further inconvenience.” Castiel hissed, grabbing all his stuff in one swift motion, jogging out of the cafeteria, throwing his tray away as he passed by one of the many trash cans.

 

Dean glanced down at the table that was covered in small ice crystals from where Castiel was sitting. Dean sighed heavily; he always screwed things up didn’t he? That was the moment Gabriel and Sam decided to show up, hand in hand, slinging their stuff down onto the floor. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “What did you do, Winchester?”

 

Dean ignored Gabriel, taking a massive bite of his burger, but finding he wasn’t all that hungry anymore. Dean and Charlie had won the bet for when Sam and Gabriel would get together. One month later after Dean and Castiel had gotten together, Sam had gotten Gabriel to see a shrink, and get him off the pills. Gabriel asked Sam to marry him as joke; Sam made him settle for dating instead.

 

Sam was watching him closely as Dean threw down his burger, putting his head in his hands. “Dean, do you want to-”

 

“Leave it alone, Sam.” Dean growled out, jumping up and throwing his own food away, and jogged out to the art building. Dean slammed through the doors, walking into his art room. It was completely dead in there, except for Missouri, who looked up as soon as he walked in.

 

“Trouble in paradise?”

 

Dean sighed, deflating. Missouri had also become a mother like figure for him, and he couldn’t hide much from her. “Yeah, you could say that.”

 

Missouri patted the table next to her. “Take a seat and you can tell me about it.”

 

“I pissed Cas off.”

 

Missouri fixed him a blank stare. “Oh that’s all? I thought you had started World War III.”

 

Dean laughed shaking his head. “Ha, ha very funny. I was kind of an ass to him, told him I didn’t like how much helped me, with everything. Told him it made me feel stupid, and that I wished I didn’t need him so much. He got pissed and stormed off.”

 

Dean wasn’t expecting the sudden slap to the back of the head by Missouri. “You are not stupid, boy, and how could you say you wish you didn’t need him so much? No wonder Castiel stormed off. He thinks the world of you, Dean - you just have to look at the kid to know that. He acts like you hung the moon for him. You accept him, and you know what the biggest thing for him is? He can touch you, and you won’t freeze to death. Your core burns too hot for him to actually ever do any real damage to you. That is something Castiel has never had, he killed his own brother from touching him. If Castiel has a bad day, and he can’t touch anyone, he will always be able to touch you.”

 

Dean opened his eyes in shock. It had never occurred to him that Castiel could always touch Dean, and it didn’t bother him in the slightest. Dean recalled times where Castiel would touch Sam or Gabriel, and how they would flinch sometimes at the coldness of Castiel’s hand, but it never bothered Dean, not once.

 

Dean lowered his head into his hands. “I’d never thought about that, I mean, he doesn’t even wear his gloves anymore, Missouri.”

 

Missouri huffed. “He has his days, there are times that Castiel has a bad day. A day when his abilities spike, like the day Castiel froze his brother. Pamela thinks it has to do with Castiel’s powers being weather based. On occasion, when his powers spiked like that, Pam has pushed him to use his powers to make it snow. She thinks Castiel is a walking winter storm. Some days it’s mild, other days it’s brutal.

 

“He’s not so different from you Dean, you’ve said you burn hotter on some days. I’ve checked with Pam, she stays one constant temperature, you on the other hand do not.”

 

Dean looked at her blandly and replied sarcastically. “So she thinks I’m what - a fire storm?”

 

“Watch your tone with me boy, I will smack you again. Pam thinks you're more like a volcano ready to burst. There have been very rare and very few cases where people with fire abilities could burn other fire users. Being able to freeze things like Castiel is able to, is one of the rarest abilities, and one of the hardest to control. It’s a good thing you two are so different in nature with your abilities, I think its one of the things that first attracted the two of you together. You could sense that you both were a balance to the monsters inside of you.”

 

Dean stiffened. “To the monsters inside of us?”

 

Missouri huffed fixing Dean with a look. “Of course I don’t mean the monsters inside of you, but you both have dangerous, untapped power within you. That’s something to be scared of, but I think that the two of you can overcome your abilities together. They say the world will end in either fire or ice, but what if it ends in both: a perfect balance to bring the world to an end.”

 

Dean shook his head, feeling marginally better. “That’s over my head, but sure, Missouri, maybe it will end in both.”

 

Dean glanced up at the clock. “We have 30 minutes left of lunch, I’m going to try and find Cas.”

 

Missouri smiled happily, patting him on the shoulder. “You do that, sweetheart.”

 

Dean smiled back and jumped up, running back towards the dining hall. Dean slowed down in the hallway before the double doors that led to the dining hall. He stood by one of the tapestries with a woven demon on it and glanced around. There was no one around for the moment coming towards or out of the dining hall, so he slipped behind it finding the hidden door that led to the hidden staircase. Dean jogged up the steep steps, traveling down the small hallway till it opened out, revealing the full dining hall. Kids all laughing and joking to one another, some using their elements to pull pranks on other kids, some using it to show off, some not using their abilities at all.

 

Dean traveled quickly down the walkway, not really wanting anyone to notice him and ask him questions later on. Dean ducked into the back rooms that were above the kitchens that were always warm from the heat of the kitchens down below.

 

Dean glanced around the room and huffed in disappointment. Castiel wasn’t there. The makeshift bed Castiel had made up here was empty, the small desk was covered in the same amount of dust from the last time Dean had been up here, and all the miscellaneous crap was in its place. Not one box, one rolled up tapestry, not one piece of crumpled piece of paper from where Castiel had thrown it was out of place.

 

Dean glanced at the conjoining door that linked the two rooms over the kitchen and bit his lip in curiosity. Dean remembered the day Castiel showed him the pathway up to the second balcony and in succession this back room. Dean remembered asking Castiel about the second conjoining back room and his slight hesitation in telling Dean that the door was jammed and that he didn’t know how to get to the other balcony.

 

Dean shrugged, muttering to himself, “What the hell, might as well try.”

 

Dean strode forward and the first thing he noticed from touching the handle was that it was freezing to the touch, enough that the cold felt like it was biting at his hand. Dean withdrew his hand in surprise that the cold of it actually affected him despite his elevated temperature. Dean narrowed his eyes and clasped the door handle once more before throwing his body weight against the door after it wouldn’t budge. It burst open, the sound of a crunch, the ice on the seams of the door cracking and breaking from Dean’s weight.

 

In the middle of the room was Castiel, hunched around himself. The relatively empty room besides a few boxes was all covered in ice crystals. Castiel slowly look up at Dean, his eyeliner smudged and tracked down his face. His hair was even more out of order than normal, and his blue eyes were filled with fear and hurt. His body shook and shuddered.

 

“Dean, please don’t come near me, I can’t, you can’t, I’ll freeze you… You’ll die Dean.” Dean’s heart pulled at the raw pain and fear in Castiel’s eyes.

 

Dean shook his head raising the temperature on his skin to the point to would scald a person to touch him. As he approached Castiel he raised his temperature even higher, flames licking at his fingertips lightly.

 

“No you won’t Cas, I can handle it, remember? I’m your opposite, any amount of cold you give out, I can counter with my heat.”

 

Castiel shook his head violently, crawling back and away from Dean, into one of the corners of the room, his arms wrapped around himself tightly as he rocked back and forth. Castiel’s clothes cracked against his skin as he moved. His eyes regarded Dean with so much fear, and all Dean wanted to do was hold Castiel against him and show him he didn’t have to be afraid. Dean could handle his frozen winter, just like Castiel could handle his burning inferno.

 

Dean walked forward slowly, the temperature dropping further and further as he walked towards Castiel. Dean sat down in front of Castiel at first just staring his boyfriend in his eyes. Ice crystals stuck Castiel’s eyelashes together, teardrops were frozen on his face, and his skin was a pale blue. His hair stood out like a sore thumb against his skin, but it was also frozen and looked even darker than it ever had.

The ice crystals around them were beginning to melt from the heat radiating off of Dean’s body, and Dean continued just to sit there, letting his heat out. Warming the air between them, he communicated through his eyes that it was okay. Dean slowly reached out a hand towards Castiel, but pulled it back immediately when he whimpered and flinched.

 

“You have to trust me Cas, you won’t kill me.” Dean murmured softly.

 

Castiel shook his head violently, new tears streaming down his face and freezing instantly. “You don’t know that, Dean.”

 

“Cas, I know you won’t hurt me, just please, please trust me when I say you won’t kill me,” Dean murmured his hand reaching out again, slowly his hands hovering over Castiel’s knee. The flames along his hands licked out above Castiel’s knee, his clothes and hair beginning to thaw. Water dripped down onto Castiel face.

 

“Do you feel my heat, Cas?” Castiel nodded, still looking like a frightened animal. Dean knew he was afraid of repeating what had happen all those years ago, but Dean was confident Castiel couldn’t hurt him.

 

“Could you feel Jimmy’s heat when he was about to touch you?” Castiel shook his head again, and a tiny portion of Castiel’s tension bled out of his shoulders. It wasn’t much, but Dean would take it.

 

“Then trust me when I say that when I touch you, you won’t hurt me, not even in the slightest.” Castiel lowered his head, but nodded, refusing to watch as Dean reached out the final distance between him and Castiel.

 

Dean dissipated the flames around his hand before he lowered his hand onto Castiel’s knee. Dean hissed, the cold sending white hot pains up Dean’s arm before his body shot up his temperature to accommodate to Castiel’s fierce winter. “Cas, look at me. I’m still here Castiel, you didn’t hurt me.”

 

Castiel opened his eyes and looked up, his eyes shining with surprise and relief before he threw himself into Dean’s arms, clutching at him tightly. Dean shushed Castiel as sobs escaped his throat.

 

“It’s okay Cas, I’m here, I’m sorry about earlier. I’m so very sorry.” Dean murmured into Castiel’s hair.

“You’re so stupid, Dean Winchester!” Castiel cried into his neck, his voice sounding rough like sandpaper.

“I know Cas, I’m an idiot. Should never have said the things I said. I need you, I need you so much.”

 

Castiel looked up at Dean, his face wet, and his tears no longer freezing to his skin as they fell down his face. “Dean… you’re the first person that has ever been able to touch me like this… the first to ever truly understand what I was feeling inside. Hearing that you hated that I helped you… That you didn’t want to need me... It made me feel like you didn’t want this - that I had dreamed all of it. I thought I was going to be alone again - that you were going to realize you could find someone better. I thought you were going to leave me.”

 

Dean cupped Castiel’s face. “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart; I won’t leave you alone. You’re not alone in this. I won’t ever leave you alone, I promise.”

Castiel sobbed and buried his face back into Dean’s neck, tightening his hold around him. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean shook his head, kissing the top of Castiel’s damp head. “You don’t have to thank me, Cas. You never have to thank me for this.”


	4. Vulnerable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel took a deep breathe before asking hesitantly. “Dean… would you let me draw you?”  
> Dean glanced over at him, the surprise evident on his face. “You want to draw me?”  
> Castiel nodded blushing slightly. “Y-yes. Would you let me?”  
> Dean laughed leaning over and pecking Castiel’s lips with a chaste kiss. “Of course babe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day four, chapter four. There is one day left before it is all posted. I hope you all are enjoying this. I look forward to posting the 5th and final chapter tomorrow.

It was near the end of May, the school year almost over, and today was Dean and Castiel’s 8 month anniversary. Castiel shook his head. He didn’t understand why Dean insisted on celebrating every month they had been together, but he secretly adored it. As the end of the school year was coming up, everyone was scrambling to find out if they would stay at the school over summer or return home. Dean’s father had requested that Sam and Dean stay over the summer, and Castiel’s mother gave him the option of coming home, but he decided against it. Gabriel was going back the second month of their summer to his home for the first time since he came here.

Castiel wasn’t sure how that was going to pan out, but he hoped that Gabriel and his brother would become friends again. Castiel glanced up at the clock in the library for the 10th time in the last ten minutes. Dean told him to come to his room at exactly 4 o’clock. It had just turned 3:55 and Castiel jumped out of his seat, heading straight for Dean’s dorm.

When Castiel reached Dean’s door he watched the clock in the hallway till it turned to 4 o’clock before knocking on the door. Castiel was excited. He didn’t know what Dean had planned, but he was ecstatic to find out. When Dean finally opened the door, Castiel smiled brightly.

Dean was wearing a nice black button down, nice jeans that had no holes in them, and he even had on dress shoes that weren’t army boots. Dean blushed under Castiel’s seeking gaze, holding out a single red rose. “Happy 8 months, babe.”

Castiel’s smile turned into an outright grin as he threw his arms around Dean, hugging him tightly and whispering, “Happy 8 months Dean.”

****   


Castiel pulled back and slipped into Dean’s room, allowing Dean to shut the door. Castiel breathed in the smell of the rose and smiled, looking up at Dean. “You look handsome, but I feel a little underdressed.”

Castiel had let his hair be instead of straightening it as Dean preferred Castiel’s unruly sex hair compared to the latter. He kept the black eyeliner, liking how it made his eyes pop, though. He was wearing a white V-neck, with black torn jeans and black converse. He was severely underdressed compared to Dean.

Dean shrugged. “I like you any way you are. Are you hungry?” Dean asked, a hint of nervousness tinged to his voice.

Castiel nodded. “Yeah, I could eat something.”

Dean smiled and grabbed his leather jacket. “Then come on, I got permission for us to leave campus.”

Castiel smiled brightly taking Dean’s offered hand. “You finally get to take me out in the Impala?”

Dean grinned happily. “Yes, yes I do. You’re going to love her, Cas.”

Castiel chuckled as they approached the garage. “I’m sure I will Dean, I just also love my car.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but he was smiling happily. They waved hello to Bobby who gave them both a knowing look before muttering ‘idjits’, and walked back into his office. Dean took it slow till they made it out of the gates, letting Castiel take in the smell of the leather, the purr of the engine, and her smooth ride.

Castiel looked over at Dean who was smiling brightly as he tore down the dirt path towards the road, the engine purring happily and giving him everything she had. Castiel couldn’t help but smile at Dean’s blissed out face. Castiel reached out and turned up Ramble On by Led Zeppelin and began singing along with Dean, neither caring that they were completely out of tune - just enjoying each others company.

After the song ended and the two finally stopped laughing, Castiel laid his head against Dean’s shoulder, sighing happily. “This is perfect, Dean.”

Castiel couldn’t see Dean with his eyes shut, but he could sense his adoring gaze. “I’m glad you think so Cas. We’re about 30 minutes away from the diner, if you want to sleep for awhile, you can.”

Castiel nodded, already feeling the dregs of sleeping coming over him. It smelt like home in the Impala. Dean’s scent surrounded him, and the seats were well broken in. Dean was warm against him, a constant pressure to anchor himself to. Castiel slipped off into sleep happily. When Dean finally woke him up five minutes after they had reached the diner, just watching him sleep, Castiel really didn’t want to get up.

“Hey babe, we’re here.” Dean whispered as he slightly shook Castiel. Castiel murmured and let out a deep breath, trying to burrow himself further into Dean. Dean chuckled, nosing Castiel’s hair. “Come on, you can sleep when we get back; it’s time for dinner right now.”

Castiel yawned and opened his eyes, slowly blinking several times. Dean’s heart tugged as he watched Castiel. He was ridiculously in love with him, found almost everything about him endearing, and he never wanted to let his blue eye’d boy go. With a little more coaxing Dean got Castiel out of the car and into the diner. Dean had already researched the place, it was LGBT friendly, and they wouldn’t get any grief for being there.

When the waiter came up to them she smiled brightly commenting immediately, “You two look good together. What can I get you?” Both Castiel and Dean blushed a little at her comment but they both ordered burgers, Dean’s with pecan pie and Castiel’s with apple pie.

They both didn’t say much, preferring to just stare at eachother happily, holding hands across the table, and playing footsie under the table. The rest of the diner looked at them longingly, some whispering about how they wished they had a relationship like that. Neither of them noticed till they got up to leave, that the entire diner, the few people that were there, were looking at them adoringly.

They both blushed furiously, and walked out of the diner, holding hands tightly. The moon was just rising as they walked out, and they both stopped to stare at it in admiration. It was a full moon, the light shining down on them was pale compared to the golden light shining on their backs from the diner. It was quiet outside, save for the few cars that passed. Finally, Dean tugged on Castiel’s hand, drawing him away from the moon to focus back on the man beside him.

“There’s a path nearby where we could walk along and enjoy the night. Would you like to?” Dean asked hesitantly.

Castiel smiled at Dean, kissing him on his cheek to calm some of his nerves. “I’d love to Dean.”

Dean let out a heavy breath smiling happily at Castiel, tugging at his hand as they headed out and down the path. It was quiet, just the sounds of crickets and the soft bubbling sound of a creek nearby. They held hands and walked through the forest silently casting glances at each other, and smiling like fools.

The path took them down to the creek, where they sat down together, Castiel rested his head on Dean’s shoulder while they both stared up at the moon. Castiel’s not sure how long they sat like that, just enjoying the other’s company. They had talked so much over the months that the silence almost felt needed just to be able appreciate each other.

Dean sighed softly and kissed the top of Castiel’s head. “You ready to go back?”

Castiel smiled softly and nodded placing a quick kiss on Dean’s lips. Dean stared at him in surprise for a few moments before breaking out in a giant grin, pulling Castiel up with him.

As soon as they were back in the car Castiel pushed himself back up against Dean, resting his head on his shoulder again. This time though he didn’t sleep, he watched the trees go by, and the pavement disappearing.

Dean broke their silence first, stating quietly, “I really don’t want to go back. I love the school and everything, and I know Sam is happy there, but I just want to get out. I miss the open road, having the option to take off.”

Castiel hummed quietly thinking that over. “I used to feel that way, like I couldn’t get out, like I was trapped in a cage. It was worse when I had to wear the gloves, I’d often wonder to myself if I’d ever be able to touch another human being again. With time that itch went away, it helped when I could finally take my gloves off, it got even better when you came. There are still days I want to get up and run, but I think you will find as time goes on, it’s a little bit easier to bare.”

Dean glanced from the road at him, hope setting deep into his peridotite eyes. “Are you sure?”

Castiel nodded smiling softly, noticing once more how undeniably beautiful Dean was. Castiel had always thought people were beautiful, everyone unique and different, but Dean especially so. Castiel again had the urge to draw Dean, something he had been wanting to do for a long time, but afraid to ask.

Castiel took a deep breathe before asking hesitantly. “Dean… would you let me draw you?”

Dean glanced over at him, the surprise evident on his face. “You want to draw me?”

Castiel nodded blushing slightly. “Y-yes. Would you let me?”

Dean laughed leaning over and pecking Castiel’s lips with a chaste kiss. “Of course babe. Are you going to draw me like one of your French girls?”

Castiel frowned. “I don’t know any French girls, Dean.”

Dean scoffed. “That reference went right over your head didn’t it? You haven’t seen Titanic?”

Castiel shook his head. “I know it’s a boat that sank, is there a movie on it?”

Dean groaned. “We are watching the Titanic together, even if it is a chick flick.”

Castiel rolled his eyes. He knew Dean liked chick flick movies, even if he wouldn’t admit it. “Can we watch it after I draw you, please?”

Dean laughed. “Of course, but how did you want to draw me, did you want to draw me with or without clothes on?”

Castiel blushed again. He was glad that Dean had to pay special attention to the road now that they were on the dirt road to the academy. Castiel wanted to draw Dean nude, even though he knew he wouldn’t get aroused from it, it was still embarrassing for him to see Dean like that, even though he had already seen Dean naked. The day Dean broke down and burned Pamela was seared into his brain, every detail, but when he tried to draw Dean’s body from memory it never came out the way he knew it should look.

“Come on, Cas, don’t leave me hanging like that.” Dean teased.

Castiel blushed again and nodded. “Yes, I-I would like to draw you without clothes.”

As they came up on the gate and Dean rolled to a stop waiting for the students or staff on duty to open the gates, he looked over at Castiel taking in his blush and fidget of his hands. Dean lifted Castiel’s chin to make the smaller boy look at him. “Whatever you want Cas, it’s yours.”

Castiel nodded, his eyes filled with love and wonder. Dean heart swelled painfully with happiness as he looked back to the road, driving through the gates. He would give Castiel anything in the world if it was within his power just to see that look, or his smile, or hear his laugh everyday of Dean’s life. When they pulled into the garage, Bobby was nowhere to be seen, but they locked up the garage after they left, holding hands the whole way back to Dean’s room.

They stopped by Gabriel’s room, which had pretty much become Gabriel and Sam’s room. Sam had moved most of his stuff over there, and Castiel had moved most of his over to Dean’s. Dean grabbed the movie from his brother, shoving a pillow in his face when Sam tried to make fun of him for it. Gabriel and Sam were sleeping with the two twin beds meshed up against each other, and while Dean was only sort of okay with it, it was Castiel who got him to let up and just except his brother was ‘together’ together with Gabriel and that naturally they were going to sleep in the same bed.

Dean leaned close to Gabriel and Sam, muttering out, “Thank you for everything.” Before he walked out the room, knowing that when Castiel and Dean reached their room candles would be illuminating it, and the smell of roses and vanilla would fill the air. He also knew that the room would be filled with new furniture, and nothing would look the same as they had left it.

Dean let Castiel walk into the room first, smiling as Castiel gasped loudly, turning towards Dean and throwing his arms around him. Dean smiled into Castiel hair, rubbing the boy’s back gently. Gabriel had helped out, but Dean had bought most of it with the money he had left over from the trip up to Washington.

Castiel pulled away from Dean with tears in his eyes. “You didn’t have to do all of this.”

“No, I didn’t, but I wanted to.” Dean guided Castiel the rest of the way into the room, shutting the door behind him and locking it. He then turned around and took in the room for the first time.

There was a large queen sized bed in the middle of the room, the headboard a  wooden rich dark brown, the bed sheets a cream color, and the comforter a light blue. The throw pillows had a woven leaf design, and one was embroidered with a D and a C. Dean figured that was done by Gabriel, but he didn’t comment on it. There was two bedside tables, one dresser the same color as the headboard with a mirror attached to it pushed up against the back wall by the door. In the left corner of one room was all of Castiel’s art supplies, a desk, his easel, and a chair that adjusted to higher and lower heights. In the right corner of the room was Dean’s record player and vinyls, a desk much like Castiel’s, and Dean’s small DVD collection on a small bookshelf. The walls were littered with the already placed shelves that had all their school books and miscellaneous stuff. There was a candle burning softly of every hard surface, and the bed was laced with red rose flower petals. Dean also assumed that was either Sam’s or Gabriel’s idea, but he again didn’t comment on it, waiting for Castiel to say something else.

Castiel walked over to his art corner, running his hands over his sketch books, paints, pencils, shadders, and laughed happily. “God I can’t believe this.”

Dean shifted from foot to foot, some nerves getting the best of him. “We’ve only got one more year of this place, but since I can’t ever see myself not wanting to be with you, I took a leap of faith. I figured we could use all of this once we got out of here, I mean, assuming you’ll still want this then, I mean, I hope you would…”

Castiel turned towards Dean and stared him down for a long searching moment before surging forward, wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck and kissing him passionately. When they finally pulled back, both were panting hard, their eyes filled with feelings they couldn’t put to words. There was just so much in their hearts. Love, happiness, joy, hope, and even a little bit of fear that maybe a day would come and they wouldn’t want each other as they did now.

As if by a silent agreement, they put that fear away for now, and kissed softly one last time before Dean pulled away, smiling shyly. “Would you like to draw me now?”

Castiel smiled, nodding happily, his embarrassment seemingly gone as he reached with drawing material’s, picking up everything he assumed he needed and dragged his chair over to the side of the bed.

Castiel watched silently as Dean unbuttoned his shirt, hanging it up in their closet. He then pushed down his pants, leaning down to pick them up to throw them into the hamper, his muscles flexing and unflexing as he moved. Dean then pushed down his boxers, the entire time facing away from Castiel. His socks were the last to come off, before turning to face Castiel, his features vulnerable, soft.

“How do you want me Cas?” Dean’s voice shaking with nervousness.

Castiel laid down his stuff on the chair and walked towards Dean slowly cupping his face gently in his hands. “You don’t have to do this Dean, honestly, I can draw you with clothes on.”

Dean shook his head leaning into Castiel’s hands. “No, I want to, I’m just nervous.”

Castiel nodded his understanding. “As long as you’re sure you want to do this…”

“I want to do this, Cas.” Dean stated, determination in his voice.

Castiel nodded and walked towards the bed, throwing off all the throw pillows, his hands lingering on the one with Castiel and Dean’s first initials before throwing it too off the bed too. Castiel stacked the pillows on the left side of the bed, pausing before pushing the rose petals off the bed on the left side. Castiel then turned to Dean, who was hovering behind him.

“Lay back against the pillows in any way the feels comfortable, but try and face me.”

Dean nodded, climbing onto the new bed and rested against the soft pillows behind him. He’d seen pictures of figure drawings, and they all were in interesting poses. So, Dean crossed his arms behind his head, letting his head rest against his right arm, his gaze heavy on Castiel’s. His legs were splayed out, his right leg more bent in while the other was out straight, well, as straight as his bowlegs would allow them to be.

Castiel smiled when Dean finally settled, dragging his chair closer, and raising the seat a little higher so that it sat at Dean’s level. Castiel’s extra materials he left on the bed. “Are you comfortable?”

Dean nodded taking a shaky breath. Castiel smiled at him reassuringly. “Just relax, and try not to move okay Dean?”

“Yeah okay, Cas.” Dean murmured.

Castiel started with Dean arms, sketching them lightly with his pencil, making the shape of his head, before outlining the rest of Dean’s body. Castiel payed attention to Dean’s breathing, watching as it slowly calmed down coming out in deep heavy breathes. Castiel smiled, his hand fluttering over the page. His hands adding shading here, detail there, focusing on all the taunt muscles in Dean’s arms.

Castiel studied Dean’s face as he replicated his straight nose, his strong cheekbones, the slight stubble that added a roughness to his face. He didn’t miss the freckles lining Dean’s face, shoulders, and chest. Adding the curve of his neck, the spikiness of his hair, the vulnerability of his eyes.

Castiel then moved down further, shading in the shadow from his pecks, in the faint six pack Dean had, making the curving sweep of his hip bones. Castiel paused on Dean’s half erect penis, a kind of bewilderment filling him to know that Castiel hadn’t even touched Dean, but he was affecting him in this way by just drawing him.

Castiel shook his head slightly, focusing himself one more as he added the detail of the vein, the shape of the head, the darkness of the hair around his length. Castiel added in the happy trail from Dean’s navel. Satisfied with that, Castiel moved down to Dean’s legs, darkening the lines he had already made and adding in shading to define Dean’s muscles. Castiel paused as he got to Dean’s feet. Castiel always had a difficult time with feet, and this time was no different. He struggled to get the right shape and angle of them, but when he finally did, he grinned in triumphant.

Castiel flicked his eyes back up to Dean who was flushed, his face, shoulders, and chest tinged pink. Castiel smiled softly at Dean, his eyes filling with gratitude as he finished off the final details of the drawing. The shading of the headboard, the shape of the pillows, the lines of the bed underneath Dean, and the creases of the sheets. Castiel sat back with a satisfied look on his face as he motioned to Dean.

“Would you like to come see it?” Castiel murmured happily, satisfied in the fact that he had finally captured Dean in the way he had always wanted too, in his infinite beauty. Dean climbed out of the bed slowly, wrapping his arms around Castiel’s shoulders as he looked down at the portrait of himself.

Dean inhaled sharply, holding his breath for a moment before letting it out. “That’s amazing Cas. I can’t even believe thats me.”

Castiel looked up at Dean, bewilderment in his eyes. “This is how I see you Dean, I see all your beauty, everything thing that stands for you, from your eyes down to you feet all I see is you, and what a magnificent man you are.”

Dean gulped hard, emotion rising into his throat as he stared back into Castiel’s deep sea blue eyes. There wasn’t words for what he wanted to say, so he leaned down and kissed Castiel on his chapped lips, savoring every sweet moment of it. Dean pulled back, running his hands through Castiel’s hair lovingly. “Come to bed with me?”

Castiel’s eyes filled with adoration and he nodded, signing his name on the portrait before safely tucking it away on Castiel’s shelves of sketch books, and putting all his art supplies away. Castiel them stripped himself of his own clothes, getting as nude as Dean was and crawling into bed with him.

Dean wasn’t expecting Castiel to get naked and crawl into bed with him, and he groaned in surprise when Castiel pressed his chilled body to his own. “Cas, buddy not that I’m complaining, but something is going to get seriously boney if one of us doesn’t put clothes on.”

Castiel looked up at Dean with the same vulnerability Dean had shown before. “But what if I want you to get boney? Because I want to do this for you? And not because you just let me draw you, but because I genuinely want to do this with you, because it will mean something this time.”

Dean sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know Cas, I mean I’m okay with how we are now, I don’t need sex to be happy with you, Castiel. I just need you, and that’s all, I mean, if we do have sex then that’s great, but I can live my life without it if I get to keep you.”

Castiel leaned forward and kissed Dean lightly on the lips before pulling back. “That makes me so happy Dean, but I still want to do this with you. We don’t have to do it now, but I want to.”

Dean swallowed hard, cupping Castiel’s face with one hand and pulling Castiel into him with the other. “Are you sure about this? And I mean it Cas, I want you to be 100% sure you want this.”

Castiel nodded, his eyes still filled with vulnerability. “I’m sure Dean, I want you.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, okay. What would be best for you?”

Castiel was honestly surprised that Dean asked. He kind of just figured Dean would want to take him, and Castiel would let him just for the fact that it was Dean. “It’s easier if I top, but-”

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Dean murmured, bringing Castiel in for another kiss not allowing him to get out what he was going to say. Castiel found himself getting lost in their kisses, his body not hot nor cold, his mind was clouded and he never wanted this to end. He could feel Dean’s length hardening against his stomach and unlike the other times Castiel had sex, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. He meant it when he said that sex didn’t bother him, but when he had sex it wasn’t with people he cared for. And so when he was with people intimately, it had always felt wrong to be with a person when they’re so vulnerable and not be involved with them, in a sense.

Dean pulled away panting, his eyes filled with love as he cupped Castiel’s face searching his eyes again. Castiel’s not sure what exactly Dean saw in them, but it must of settled something inside of him because he pulled away and reached into the bedside table on the right side, his side, and brought out a bottle of lube.

“Do you want to do it, or should I?” Dean asked calmly, but Castiel could see that Dean was just as nervous about this as Castiel was. Castiel took the lube with a smile, trying to ease both of their nerves.

“Lay back, Dean.” Dean nodded, laying back on the pillows and gazing up at Castiel, his eyes heavy with arousal. Castiel smiled softly at him before pouring the cold liquid on his fingers.

Castiel circled Dean’s rim first with his middle finger, his eyes watching Dean’s closely while his other hand ran up and down Dean’s leg soothingly. Dean shivered and nodded at Castiel, signaling him to move forward. Castiel breached Dean slowly, watching his reactions closely. It was truly a sight to see, Dean’s face didn’t contract in pain, just slight pleasure, his eyes falling shut. Castiel worked his finger in and out, slowly letting Dean adjust before adding more lube and adding another finger. Not once did Dean’s face bunch up in pain, he just watched Castiel with heavy eyes, nodding everytime he was ready for a new finger.

When Castiel could easily open Dean up with four fingers, he removed them, getting up briefly to grab a towel from the wrack in the closet, setting it down under Dean and wiping off his hand. “Wouldn’t want to get the bed dirty after just having it for one night.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

They looked adoringly into each others eyes, the nerves had gone and now they were just happy to be with one another, both accepting each other for what they were, and what they were about to do. Dean reached down to Castiel’s length and started stroking him.

A spark of pleasure burned lowly in Castiel’s stomach, and his own breathing was coming heavily just like Dean’s. Once Castiel knew he was fully erect he stopped Dean, allowing the other boy to slick up his shaft with the lube before he moved back between Dean’s legs.

“Lift your hips Dean.” Castiel whispered softly, pushing a pillow under Dean’s hips to elevate him. Castiel pushed in slowly, watching as Dean’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and his eyelids fluttered shut. He groaned loudly, then whispered Castiel’s name like it was a prayer.

Castiel closed his eyes in concentration and in elation. This was how this was supposed to feel like. It wasn’t supposed to be feral and quick, but loving and prolonged. Castiel opened his eyes immediately when Dean cupped Castiel’s face he spoke softly. “Cas, I need you to move.”

Castiel smiled and thrust his hips forward, taking a moment to find his rhythm before leaning down over Dean, bracing himself with forearms. Face to face like this, they lost each other in their eyes, the deep blue sea caught in a storm raged inside Castiel’s, and the peridotite inferno in Dean’s. Two wars raged inside them, but looking into each other’s eyes it all calmed. In this moment, they were together as one, and nothing, not even their powers that seemed to be so uncontrolled could spin out of control in that moment.

Castiel came first, crying out Dean’s name as he buried his face in Dean’s neck, not used to the overwhelming feeling of orgasming. Dean followed right after, his arms and legs tightening around Castiel, bringing him down on top of Dean. When Castiel finally looked up at Dean, his heart tugged painfully at the trust and worship in Dean’s eyes.

They didn’t say anything, they didn’t need to. They just kissed one more time, savoring the sweet press of lips before falling asleep on the towel, too tired to get up and clean themselves up.

 


	5. Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam graduated and moved in with Gabriel, Dean and Castiel got married in Colorado before Castiel’s job came to a close and they moved back to Washington to be closer to Sam and Gabriel. Not long after Dean and Castiel’s marriage Sam and Gabriel got engaged, and while Dean was a little upset that they were getting engaged so young, Castiel reminded him that they did the exact same thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day has come, this is the 5th and final chapter of this fic. I hope you've all enjoyed the art done by Girl-Of-Braids, and I also hope you've enjoyed the story line. Anyways, enjoy the last chapter!

~~~ One Year and Some Odd Month’s Later~~~

****  
  


Dean packed the last box into the Impala’s trunk and slammed her shut with a satisfying sounding thunk. How him and Cas had accumulated this much stuff over their last year in high school was beyond him, but this was going to be their third and final trip to the academy to get all of their things, then it was off to the real world.

All their friends were there to see them on their final farewell, even some teachers and staff were there to see them off. Charlie was crying even if she was trying to hide it, Benny looked solemn, but considering it might be the last time he saw any of them, Dean didn’t expect any less. Sam and Gabriel looked the saddest of all though. Gabriel purposely flunked this year to stay with Sam while he finished out high school. Dean was glad Sam was going to have someone, but at the same time he wished he was still going to be there to look out for his little brother.

Dean sighed and walked towards the little group that had accumulated, sliding his arm around Castiel’s waist and pulling him into his side. “Well that’s the last of it.”

Charlie sobbed and lost it throwing her arms around Dean and Castiel tightly. “I’m going to miss you bitches! What am I going to do New York without my favorite gay couple?”

Dean and Castiel shared a look over her back both smiling slightly as they patted her back in comfort. “You’ll still be able to see us kiddo. We’ll come visit, and we’ll skype each other.” Charlie was going to New York to work some fancy computer job, without any of her friends there she didn’t feel like staying at the academy. Dean didn’t blame her, she was way too good with computers to be working at the academy.

Benny when he had graduated last year went back down to the docks in Louisiana. He had skyped with all of them as frequently as he could, but he had promised to be there for when Dean and Castiel truly left the academy.

Dean and Castiel bought an apartment in Vail, Colorado, where Castiel could paint the scenery of the mountains and be paid for it. He’d been selling off his artwork for years, and he had gotten a job where he was paid just to live in Vail, go adventuring in the forest, draw it, paint it, year round. It was a pretty good gig, and Dean was more than happy to follow along, he figured he’d pick up a job somewhere around town, not that he really needed a job. Castiel had an open trust fund from his parents. They would pay for every want he could ever have for the rest of his life, even though Castiel’s art could pay for the both of them to live just perfectly.

It used to bother Dean, that he was basically going to live off of Castiel’s trust funds, but after fighting over a year about it with Castiel, he’d gotten over it. Charlie pulled away and wiped her eyes. “You better, or I’ll kick both of your asses.”

Benny stepped forward the drew Dean into a bear hug, both of them patting each other's back fondly. “You ever get bored of the yuppie's up in the mountains, you come down and visit me you hear, brother?”

Dean laughed. “Sure thing Benny.”

Benny smiled at Castiel and gave him a short friendly hug. Missouri and Mrs. Harvelle bombarded them then with hugs, and promises that they would hunt Dean and Castiel down if they didn’t call and let the two of them know how they were doing. After they finally stepped back, it was Gabriel and Sam who stepped forward.

Tears streamed down Sam’s face as he looked at Dean, and it broke his heart. Dean opened his arms for a hug and Sam launched himself into, almost knocking Dean down. The kid was taller than him now, although still lanky and skinny he was starting to fill out. Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Sam’s waist and just held his brother while he cried.

“I’ll visit Sam, and we can skype all the time. It won't’ be like you won’t be able to see me.” Dean soothed quietly.

Sam pulled back and wiped the tears from his face. “I know, I just don’t want you to be gone quite yet.”

Dean smiled and reached up ruffling Sam’s hair. “Don’t worry kiddo, you’ll be fine, plus you’ve got Gabe with you. You’ll be perfectly fine without me.”

Sam nodded, smiling for Dean, but Dean could tell it didn’t reach his brother’s eyes. Sam then turned towards Castiel and gave him a hug and Gabriel stepped forward towards Dean. “You better take care of my little brother.” Dean warned, glaring into Gabriel’s whiskey eyes.

Gabriel just grinned and chuckled, patting Dean’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Dean-O, I’ll take real good care of him.” Gabriel waggled his eyebrows for extra effect and Dean glanced away in horror.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just joke about having sex with my brother, and we’re going to move on with our lives.” Their group chuckled at that, and Sam blushed a little bit, but didn’t say anything.

They stood around for awhile longer, talking and saying their goodbyes before climbing into the Impala, and Bobby following behind in Castiel’s car. Bobby had a friend down in Vail he wanted to see who would give him a boost to the Denver airport when the time came that he need to leave, but he promised to look after Dean and Castiel while they settled in. It was school mandatory that one staff member go along to help with the transition. Dean thought it was a bullshit rule and just Meg and Crowley’s last effort and being nosy before they left their damn school.

Dean had to admit though, he was going to miss it. He’d gained control over his abilities while he was there, even if his control was shaky at times. If it got out of hand, Castiel was there to calm him down and vise versa. On Castiel’s bad day’s he wore his gloves, but they were very rare now, and far in between.

Dean glanced over at Castiel while he drove down the now familiar dirt path to the road. He was watching the trees go by with a wistful expression, but underneath it was excitement. “I can’t believe that was the last time we’ll be visiting here as students. It’s all kind of surreal, you know?”

Dean grinned and nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m worried about Sammy though, I feel bad leaving him there. I mean, I was always told to ‘take care of Sammy,’ and now I’m going to live off in the middle of Colorado and he’s stuck there.”

Castiel smiled softly at Dean and reached over cupping his face lightly. “He has Gabriel, and he knew this day was coming. We all knew this day was coming, he’ll be fine.”

Dean sighed, glancing briefly at Castiel’s reassuring smile, and honest blue eyes. “Yeah, yeah okay.”

They traveled the next few days to Colorado blaring classic rock and singing obnoxiously to it. They stopped at night to stay at motels to appease Bobby, and before they knew it, they were in the crisp mountain air of Vail, Colorado.

Parked in the streets they climbed out of the Impala, staring up at the tall apartment building in excitement. Bobby climbed out of Castiel’s mustang and looked up at the building with them. “Not bad kids, not bad.”

Dean and Castiel smiled like fools at Bobby making the older man snort and shake his head. “Did you both register with the state and let them know that you will be living here?”

Both their faces dropped a bit, but they nodded. Because they were considered ‘high risk’ elemental users any state they moved to needed to be notified of their presence so if something disastrous happened that was unexplainable, they knew where to point the finger.

Dean sighed, looking back at the building. “You wanna come in Bobby? Check the place out?”

Bobby snorted, walking forward. “Of course I do, I need to make sure where you’re staying is up to the school’s standards, boy.”

Dean and Castiel smiled as they led the way into the lobby of the building, nodding at the superintendent before taking the elevator up to their floor. The three of them stepped out into the hallway, the walls a light cream color, the door directly in front of them was a light pine wood that matched the hard wooden floor.

Dean unlocked the door and smiled softly when Bobby let out a curse word behind them when he could see into the apartment. It was wide open and spacious. Castiel’s parents paid to have it furnished completely, minus Dean and Castiel’s bedroom. They planned to take care of that room, paint it and everything.

It was an open house plan, every room opened up to the next. The living room was immediately to their left, a 64’ flat screen TV sat proudly on a table in the corner of the room, a couch and two love seats were positioned around it. The couches were made out of a soft cream cloth, the throw pillows were a soft pale blue with white beading on it. The coffee table that sat in between the couches and the TV was made out of pine, the center filled with glass. The large rug under the coffee table was a pale blue, and the floor remained the pale hardwood floor.

Walking forward further into the room there was a step down into the kitchen, the floor a creamy stone tile, the counters were made out of the same pine wood that was the theme throughout the apartment. The top of the counters were a baltic brown granite, a stainless steel sink was embedded into the granite in front of two windows that looked out onto Vail city. The cabinet's were the same wood, a top of the line stainless steel microwave was mounted in the cabinets. The fridge was also top of the line and stainless steel, with a coffee maker to match the rest resting prettily on the countertop.

Towards the back of the apartment was two rooms, the master bedroom, and the guest bedroom. “You know Bobby, you’re more than welcome to stay with us, and we can drive you up to Denver.” Castiel offered.

Bobby shook his head. “Your place is nice and everything, don’t get me wrong, but it’s too fluffy for my tastes. I’ve been meaning to visit this old geezer for a long, long time. Speaking of that, he should be here soon to pick me up.” Bobby brought both of them into bone crushing hugs before pulling apart looking at them seriously. “Dean, Castiel, take care of yourselves, and take care of your damn cars!”

With that he walked out of their apartment, leaving the couple to themselves. Dean and Castiel sat in silence for a moment just staring at the door where Bobby disappeared before looking at each other. "What do we do now? Castiel asked quietly almost as if not to break the silence.

Dean shrugged. "Start unpacking I suppose."

So that's what they did. Dean hooked up their stereo system in their living room and played classic rock as they slowly unpacked their box's and put everything in it's rightful place. By the time the sun sunk completely behind the mountains, they'd unpacked half of their stuff and were collapsed tiredly on their guest bedroom bed. They hadn't set up their bed yet, and until they painted their room, they weren't going to put anything in there.

Dean rolled towards Castiel pulling the slightly smaller boy into him. "God I'm exhausted."

Castiel hummed and snuggled into Dean's warmth, smiling. "Me too. Can you believe that it's just us here? No Gabriel, Sam, or anybody to burst through the door and bug us? It's just you and me."

Dean kissed Castiel's head lightly and murmured into his hair. "We're going to miss them."

Castiel sighed. "Yeah, I know we will, it's just hard to think that they're not here."

Dean hummed in agreement, his eyes becoming heavy. "I'm gonna pass out."

Castiel smiled. "Okay love."

Soon they both passed into sleep for the very first time in their new apartment.

Things worked smoothly for Dean and Castiel over the next few months. They set up the rest of their apartment, painted their room the same shade of blue as their bed with one cream accent wall, and set up all of their furniture. Dean got a job at the local auto shop, but when he wasn't working there, he'd go out hiking with Castiel, helping him take pictures to go home and paint, or sit there while he drew something they came across.

When they were home, Castiel would draw Dean. Dean didn't get as shy as he used to when Castiel drew him, but when Castiel drew him naked he'd still blush and get half hard. They didn't have sex very often, honestly it only happens when both of them just want to be as close as they can to the other. Castiel used to worry that Dean would get fed up that they didn't have sex very much, but he never did. When Castiel asked him about it, Dean would just shrug, telling him that he meant it when he said that he didn't need it, just as long as he had Castiel.

They went and visited the academy every month, and skyped with both Benny and Charlie at least every three weeks. They were making friends in Vail slowly. Their downstairs neighbor named Balthazar was becoming a good friend of Castiel’s, and Dean was becoming fast friends with a boy named Garth down at the auto shop.

Things were going great for them, and on their 2 year anniversary on one of their many hikes, Castiel purposed to Dean. It took a moment for Dean to process that Castiel was down on one knee with a ring before he laughed and also got down on one knee, producing a ring of his own.

They ended up rolling with laughter on the forest floor, swapping rings and kissing each other silly. They didn’t have very much trouble controlling their powers anymore, and the rare times they did, the other was there to calm them down. It was perfect, and everything came together in a nice neat bow.

Sam graduated and moved in with Gabriel, Dean and Castiel got married in Colorado before Castiel’s job came to a close and they moved back to Washington to be closer to Sam and Gabriel. Not long after Dean and Castiel’s marriage Sam and Gabriel got engaged, and while Dean was a little upset that they were getting engaged so young, Castiel reminded him that they did the exact same thing.

Sam and Dean didn’t hear from John after they got out of high school, and he didn’t respond to Dean’s wedding invitation. Sam didn’t know, but Dean drove down to see if the old man was okay, and he found him in rehabilitation center trying to get over the death of Mary and get over his addiction to alcohol.

That was the last time Dean checked on John. Sam was studying to go into law, and Gabriel was going to culinary school. This all started with Sam and Dean losing control of their powers and then their lives, and it’s ending with their lives in order. They couldn’t be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Loved it? Hated it? Let me know in the comments below!


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